He has come only just today.

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englishhobby

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A girl is writing a diary during the war. Is the following correct:

"Yesterday it was very frightening. I felt I could die of all those terrible sounds and flashes behind the window. <...> Father still wasn’t coming. He has come only just today."

Could you please correct this extract in case it is wrong or unnatural?
 
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a_vee

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Hi!

"Yesterday was very frightening. I thought I was going to die with all those terrible sounds and flashes outside the window."

The part about the father needs more context. I don't understand it well enough to give any suggestions.

I hope this helps.
 

englishhobby

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Hi!

The part about the father needs more context. I don't understand it well enough to give any suggestions.

The girl's father works at a military plant during WWII. He sometimes has to stay at work for the night as the production of weapons can't be stopped under the circumstances. His daughter is waiting for him to come back from work for two days. Then he returns. The girl describes how "he was not coming (when she was waiting for him)" and how he has returned, on the day when she was writing about it in her diary. Two days of waiting are too much for her, so I need to emphasize it somehow.
"Dad still wasn't coming. <...> He has returned only/just today (Only today has he retuned, it's bad that he returned only today, he should have returned much earlier, though, of course, it's good that he returned at all)."
 

englishhobby

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"Yesterday was very frightening. I thought I was going to die with all those terrible sounds and flashes outside the window."

Thank you, a_vee, for your useful suggestion.

A girl is writing a diary during the war. Is the following correct:
"Yesterday it was very frightening. I thought I was going to die with all those terrible sounds and flashes outside the window. <...> Father still wasn’t coming. He has come only just today."

Could you please correct this extract in case it is wrong or unnatural?

The girl's father works at a military plant during WWII. He sometimes has to stay at work for the night as the production of weapons can't be stopped under the circumstances. His daughter is waiting for him to come back from work for two days. Then he returns. The girl describes how "he was not coming (when she was waiting for him)" and how he has returned, on the day when she was writing about it in her diary. Two days of waiting are too much for her, so I need to emphasize it somehow.

"Dad still wasn't coming. <...> He has returned only/just today (Only today has he retuned, it's bad that he returned only today, he should have returned much earlier, though, of course, it's good that he returned at all)."


Sorry for boosting it, but now that I have given some more context, could anyone help me with the phrases in bold in my initial question? Can I say "He still wasn't coming" and then "He has come only just today" in the described above context?
 

a_vee

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Maybe you could say this:

Dad took too long to get back to us. He only just arrived today.

I like writing fiction too. If you want more emotion maybe try this:

Dad took too long to get back. He only just arrived today. I was worried sick.
 
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