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  1. #1
    proprabhavs is offline Newbie
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    Lightbulb need help with my Statement of Purpose correction

    Statement of Purpose

    By the time I knew I needed to pursue my career in a singular field I prioritized on my handiness and my competence to learn new things along with creatively motivating myself into its application, a major reason why I was mind set to be an engineer. In addition to that, after my intermediate in science with major biology and additional mathematics I wanted to ensure that I had chosen the suited subject before embarking on a definitive course that would shape my future. Then I was acquainted with Biomedical engineering, a unique mix of engineering, medicine and life sciences comparably new and fast growing field in today’s context and the application of which I found very interesting. During my undergraduate course, I gained a deep understanding of various fields of biomedical engineering and its implementation. Besides the curriculum, presentations and seminars in conjunction to interaction with intellect of the relevant field were perfect opportunity for me to enhance the knowledge in applied biomedical science even more. Furthermore my final year project titled “Designing of a Device Using Pulsed Electromagnetic Field for Fracture Healing” helped me with the realize the application of biomedical sciences for the betterment on the medical aspect of the society plus get well conversant with the implementing my theoretical knowledge into practice along with the use of research tool like tesla meter and bone densitometer.

    Propelled by my interest in Biomedical engineering, I worked in Siddhi Memorial hospital and B.P. Koirala Memorial Cancer hospital for a year as a part of my practical exposure in various biomedical equipment’s. Working under the supervision of Mr. Prakash Pandey, the very first biomedical engineer of Nepal was a privilege. On top of it the day to day monitoring of equipment’s, actively participating in installation and demonstration of medical devices, discussion of problems, its detection and its solutions with the specialists, documentation of work and associated professional practices boosted my skills and effectiveness.

    Biomedical engineering is relatively fresher discipline in my country and due to the absence of medical Industries and allied medical fields, biomedical engineers are subjected to nothing more than maintenance of medical devices. My undergraduate course though enabled me to grasp the fundamentals of Biomedical engineering, could not present enough opportunity in applying my knowledge to the real-world situations. And I wanted to heighten my team work and self-confidence that could be utilized toward problem solving and achieving a common goal. Further motivating myself towards understanding the roles of engineer, engineering principles, responsibility towards the society, communicating appropriately and management of an organization.


    After countless hours searching for the relevant course in the internet finally I found the perfect match for my motivation. Program offered as Masters in engineering studies-Biomedical engineering and Masters in engineering- Biomedical engineering in University of Technology Sydney. Attending UTS would give me prospect of discerning and developing my interest within Biomedical engineering. I want to explore my domain of expertise to a Medical instrumentation, anatomy and physiology, medical device and imaging and so on. I believe obtaining a Master’s degree at UTS will provide necessary background for me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments. I wish to delve deeper into the subject and further carry out my understanding in the field and to follow it up with second masters or PhD or serve as a biomedical engineer in an institution.
    Thus Master’s degree from UTS offered as Masters in Engineering studies-Biomedical engineering will undoubtedly be a significant boost in realizing my long term goals and understanding the new technology and improve and implement upon the existing one so as to broaden the social perspective of biomedical engineering in my country.

  2. #2
    probus's Avatar
    probus is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: need help with my Statement of Purpose correction

    Statement of Purpose

    By the time I knew I needed to pursue my career in a singular field I prioritized on my handiness and my competence to learn new things along with creatively motivating myself into its application, a major reason why I was mind set to be an engineer.

    I suggest the following introductory sentence, which captures the meaning in a much more natural way: Once I had understood that I must choose a profession I considered my handiness and my good ability to learn, and those considerations led me to choose engineering. In addition to that, after my intermediate in science with major biology and additional mathematics I wanted to ensure that I had chosen the most suitable field before embarking on a definitive course that would shape my future. Then I was acquainted with Biomedical engineering, a unique mix of engineering, medicine and life sciences, a comparably new and fast growing field today which I found very interesting. During my undergraduate course, I gained a deep understanding of various fields of biomedical engineering and its implementation. Besides the curriculum, presentations and seminars, interaction with academics in the field were an excellent opportunity for me to enhance my knowledge of applied biomedical science. My final year project titled “Designing of a Device Using Pulsed Electromagnetic Field for Fracture Healing” helped me to realize the application of biomedical sciences for the betterment on the medical aspect of the society. In addition I learned about how to implement my theoretical knowledge in practice. I also gained experience in the use of technology such as the Tesla meter and bone densitometer.

    Propelled by my interest in Biomedical engineering, I worked in Siddhi Memorial hospital and B.P. Koirala Memorial Cancer hospital for a year as a part of my practical exposure to various biomedical equipment. Working under the supervision of Mr. Prakash Pandey, the very first biomedical engineer of Nepal was a privilege. On top of that, the day to day monitoring of equipment, participation in installation and demonstration of medical devices, discussion of problems and their solutions with specialists, documentation of work and associated professional practices boosted my skills and effectiveness.

    Biomedical engineering is a relatively new discipline in my country and due to the absence of medical industries and allied medical fields, biomedical engineers often do nothing more than maintenance of medical devices. Although my undergraduate course enabled me to grasp the fundamentals of biomedical engineering, it could not present enough opportunity in applying my knowledge to real-world situations. And I wanted to heighten my team-work and self-confidence that could be utilized toward problem solving and achieving a common goal. I want to better understand the roles of engineer, engineering principles, social responsibility, communicating appropriately and management of an organization.


    After countless hours searching for appropriate courses, I finally found the perfect study program for me: the Masters in engineering studies-Biomedical engineering and Masters in engineering- Biomedical engineering in University of Technology Sydney. Attending UTS would give me the opportunity to further develop my interest in Biomedical engineering. I want to expand my expertise in medical instrumentation, anatomy and physiology, medical devices and imaging and so on. I believe obtaining a Master’s degree at UTS will provide necessary background for me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments. I wish to delve deeper into the subject and extend my understanding in the field. I might follow up with second masters or PhD or serve as a biomedical engineer in an institution.

    Thus a Master’s degree from UTS in Engineering studies-Biomedical engineering will undoubtedly be a significant boost in realizing my long term goals.

  3. #3
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: need help with my Statement of Purpose correction

    I find "my handiness" rather odd. It makes me think you're good at DIY.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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