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  1. #1
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    Default correct this sentence

    original sentence:

    The younger boy was about the same age as my little sister. He got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

    after correctin:

    The younger boy got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.


    what's wrong with the first setence??

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    You've lost the extra information about his age.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    You've lost the extra information about his age.
    noooo... I swear that's the answer.. I copied it from the book
    but I dont understand why

  4. #4
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    Presumably, whoever did the correcting judged that the boy's age was irrelevant. But if, as you say, "that's the answer", what was the question?

  5. #5
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    It's a grammar multiple choice...

    I must choose one correct sentence replace the original one

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    What are the other choices?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    all choices:

    A. no change

    B. The younger boy was about the same age as my little sister. He got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

    C. The younger boy (about the same age as my younger sistrer) got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

    D. The younger boy got so upset that he spilled his water all over the table.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    Well, I still haven't seen the actual question, or the sentence you had to replace. But it's probably more a question of style than grammar.

    Choices B and C are problematic because the information about the boy's age interrupts the story. In B, it even sounds as if he got upset because he was the same age as your sister.

    The problem with choice C can be seen more clearly if we exaggerate it a bit. For example, imagine you were reading an exciting James Bond novel and you read this sentence:

    "Suddenly, the car (which was an E-type Jaguar, not at all like the Aston Martin Bond was driving, but a really great car even though it wasn't very efficient when it came to fuel consumption, and incidentally was painted in British Racing Green) screeched to a halt."

    See what I mean? It sounds terrible.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: correct this sentence

    haha~

    thanks

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