Emergency:please help me to make my SOP better...I think it`s awful

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smartjavad

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Joined
May 24, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Kurdish
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
“If you want something you would reach it, by trying”. It is an Iranian proverb that I have always believed in and kept it in my mind in all my endeavors. Now, I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best England universities, University of XXXXX. I am applying for admission to M.Sc. program of Meat Sciences and Technology since I want a career in the research and Learning of Food Science and experimental, theoretical and numerical analysis Food Processes.
My tendency toward Food Component and food processing inspired me to look for a career as an Food Scientist when I was a high school student. Through many deliberations with some university students, in food science and technology, about vast applications and features of this major I figured out that food science and technology would be the best major for me. So I selected it as my first choice in the universities entrance exam and achieved to enroll in this program at Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences Which has a rich members of academicals board and also has a great correlation with National Nutrition Science and Food Technology Institute of Iran and is being financially and instrumentally supported by it.
I am not going to tell the story, I don’t know what is the best word to say my enthusiastic interest for researching, and how much I love food science, but how to catch up and my persistency to learn, has been known in our faculty as you can ask from my references. for the first experience I talked to all my professors in order to cooperate with them in different projects, but it was difficult for them to rely on a bachelor student who had just spent 3 semesters in university, firstly I was rejected by all of them. so I found a simple and attractive issue to do research about that I had found it just in the class, when we were being thought, ‘Investigation and Determination of physicochemical and nutritional properties of 5 mass productive species of rice in Iran’, what were differences between them, how their property would change after aging,… were my questions, and I supposed to answer myself. So I searched a lot and after studying many articles and investigating about the issue and learning how to write a proposal, I finally wrote it and it was accepted in student research committee, by difficulty I got laboratory just for a week and did all necessary examination. In this procedure 2 of my Professors and 1 PhD student joint me, it had been sweet attitude for all of us! We are writing the results as a article for sending to Journal of Cereal Science and we hope it be accepted because we all work hard. In this project I learn a lot about essential thing in research process such SPSS. It was a beginning for me and after seeing my hard working, I have been reliable student for my professors, they have trusted me and my acquired results in the procedures, so we have done several national projects together as you will read.
My first true introduction to Food Sciences area came in a extensive research offered by Dr. Sohrabvandi ; “ the way to the improvement of foods for the consuming public, make a better-quality food, life and eating more enjoyable with a base of healthy and innovation”. In addition the time limitation on this project taught me to plan well, work systematically and keep my reports up-to-date and organized. also to manipulate different apparatus, I did an exciting teamwork project. Living in the Laboratory of Institute, dividing task among four members, trying to have remarkable contribution to the project altogether with finishing the project in time with highest level of accuracy has made it a memorable event.
4 month research assistantship under supervision of Dr. Sohrabvandi provided me with the opportunity to become familiar with the way of doing an industrial and Scientific research project.

One of the amazing research I have done is about developing a new method for rapid extraction and determination of PAHs in edible oils, it was unbelievable to me ; by working with the only GC-mass we have in the PhD`s student Laboratory! We were a team that each one was responsible for certain parts. I was supposed to preparing samples, Standard graphs, injections, comparing results and reporting this data to my professor Dr.Mohammadi. We sheared our opinions about results, it sometimes was really amazing, we have obtained the best and also the most rapid method for extraction and detection of PAHs. It has been sent to an international Conference and we are waiting to their answer.
I believe that mentioned experiences have prepared me to come into master of meat science program. In addition, I think that I am academically able to continue my education at a large and prestigious University such as XXX University. I will receive my B.Sc. degree from Shahid Beheshti University of medical sciences, Faculty of food sciences and technology, the best food school in my country, with GPA is around of 17/20. I will be awarded my bachelor degree by June 2013.
I worked as a trainee in a companies for more than 500 hours, but I never could accustom myself to routine, boring, and without excitement and creativity atmosphere of that place. Imagining a career in such places after the graduation bothers me. I enjoy learning and obtaining new knowledge and don’t want to deprive myself of this potential pleasure by giving up my education. I think that if I don’t continue my education, I would have not completely utilized the talent that God has endowed me with. I like teaching as a part of my work as well as doing industrial and research projects in future. The master degree and after that Ph.D. degree would enable me to combine both these preferences.
At least, it is necessary to be said This being in lab, think of why something happened or not, try to do my best with the highest accuracy make me satisfied.
 

EnglishFix

Member
Joined
May 21, 2013
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
Chile
“If you want something, you will reach it by trying."

That is an Iranian proverb that I have always believed in and have kept in my mind for all my endeavors.

Now, I have decided to pursue my education in one of the best English universities, University of XXXXX. I am applying for admission to the M.Sc. program of Meat Sciences and Technology since I want a career in food science research and experimental, theoretical and numerical analysis of food processes.

My tendency toward food components and food processing inspired me to pursue a career as an food scientist when I was a high school student. Through many deliberations with some university students, in food science and technology, about the vast applications and features of this major, I figured out that food science and technology would be the best major for me. So I selected it as my first choice in the university entrance exam and enrolled in this program at Shahid Beheshti University of Medical Sciences which has a strong academic faculty and also has a great affiliation with the National Nutrition Science and Food Technology Institute of Iran and is financially supported by it.

I am not going to tell a story. I don’t know what are the best words to describe my enthusiastic interest for researching and how much I love food science. My enthusiasm to learn is known in our faculty as you can see from my references.

I asked all my professors if I could collaborate with them on various projects, but it was difficult for them to trust a bachelor student who had only spent three semesters in university. At first, I was rejected by all of them so I found a simple and effective way to do research that I had found out about in the class when we were being taught about the "Investigation and Determination of Physicochemical and Nutritional Properties of Five Mass Productive Species of Rice in Iran. What were the differences between them and how would their properties would change after aging were my questions and I was supposed to answer them by myself.

So I researched a lot and after studying many articles and investigating the issue and learning how to write a proposal, I finally wrote it and it was accepted by a student research committee. I received laboratory time for just a week and did all of necessary experimentation. In this procedure, two of my a professors and one PhD student joined me. It was a good time for all of us! We are writing the results as a article to send to the Journal of Cereal Science and we hope it will be accepted because we all worked hard.

In this project I learned a lot about the essential parts of the research process such as SPSS. It was a beginning for me and after seeing my hard work, I have been reliable student for my professors. They have trusted me and my acquired results in the procedures, so we have done several national projects together as you will read.

My first true introduction to the food sciences field came in extensive research paper authored by Dr. Sohrabvandi titled “ The Way to the Improvement of Foods for the Consuming Public, Making Better Quality Food and Life and Eating More Enjoyably With a Foundation of Health and Innovation”. In addition, the time limitation on this project taught me to plan well, work systematically, and keep my reports up-to-date and organized. Also, I learned how to manipulate different apparatus.

I participated in an exciting teamwork project. While living in the institute laboratory, we divided tasks among four members. We tried to make remarkable contributions to the project and finish the project in time with highest level of accuracy. That made it a memorable event. The four month research assistantship under supervision of Dr. Sohrabvandi provided me with the opportunity to become familiar with how to perform an industrial and scientific research project.

Some of the amazing research I have done was concerning the development a new method for rapid extraction and determination of PAHs in edible oils. It was unbelievable to me. Working only with the GC-mass we have in the PhD`s student laboratory, each of our team members were responsible for certain parts. I was supposed to prepare samples, standard graphs, injections, compare results, and report this data to my professor Dr. Mohammadi. We shared our opinions about the results, it sometimes was really amazing. We obtained the best and also the most rapid method for extraction and detection of PAHs. It has been sent to an international conference and we are waiting to their answer.

I believe that these experiences have prepared me to enter into a Master's of Meat Science program. In addition, I think that I am academically able to continue my education at a large and prestigious university such as XXX University. I will receive my B.Sc. degree from Shahid Beheshti University in medical sciences from the faculty of food sciences and technology, the best food school in my country with a GPA of around 17/20. I will be awarded my bachelor's degree by June 2013.

I worked as a trainee in some companies for more than 500 hours, but I never could accustom myself to the routine, boredom, and lack of excitement and the lack of creative atmosphere of that place. Imagining a career in such places after graduation bothers me. I enjoy learning and obtaining new knowledge and I don’t want to deprive myself of this potential pleasure by giving up my education. I think that if I don’t continue my education, I will have not completely utilized the talent that God has endowed me with. I like teaching as a part of my work as well as doing industrial and research projects in the future. The master's degree and after that the Ph.D. degree will enable me to combine both these preferences.

Finally, it is necessary to say that being in a lab, determining why something happened or not, and trying to do my best with the highest accuracy make me satisfied.
 
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