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    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Ukraine
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: Oct 2012
    • Posts: 7
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    #1

    Red face Please help to correct/ improve !

    Hi everybody

    I am applying for a master program, there are 5 questions in the application form to be answered.
    The one of them is: What business that you have seen internationally has inspired you? I wrote an answer, but pretty unsure about it
    So i hope that someone can help me to improve and/or correct mistakes. I appreciate every idea
    My answer: The company, that inspires me, is the Internet giant Google Inc., that has the most successful search engine in the world. Despite existing other competitors like Yahoo, Google Inc. continues to be No. 1 in Internet area. To be successful is not easy job and Google does its best. It has the best results for their users; they invest far more in technology than any other search engine. Itís known as a company with the best work environment. They have figured out how to make money with advertisement without losing their users, thus they become one of the profitable companies in the world. Google is a brand. Impressive.

    (It must be rather formal style)

    Thank you!

    Best regards,

    Anna

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2009
    • Posts: 3,505
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Please help to correct/ improve !

    Quote Originally Posted by Anna0503 View Post
    Hi everybody

    I am applying for a master program, there are 5 questions in the application form to be answered.
    The one of them is: What business that you have seen internationally has inspired you? I wrote an answer, but pretty unsure about it
    So i hope that someone can help me to improve and/or correct mistakes. I appreciate every idea
    My answer: The company that inspires me is the internet giant, Google Inc. that It has the most successful search engine in the world. [STRIKE] Despite /STRIKE] In spite of existing other competitors like Yahoo, Google Inc. continues to be No. 1 among search-engine competitors in Internet area . To be successful is not easy job and Google does its best. It has provides the best results for their its users; they invest far more in technology than any other search-engine. Itís It is known also as a company with the best work environment. They have figured out how to make money with advertisement but without losing their users, thus they have become one of the most profitable companies in the world. Google is an impressive enterprise.

    (It must be rather formal style)

    Thank you!

    Best regards,

    Anna
    Suggestions. Good luck.

    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Russian
      • Home Country:
      • Ukraine
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: Oct 2012
    • Posts: 7
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Please help to correct/ improve !

    thank you

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