Help with motivation letter

[sininho]

Hello!
Can somebody check my motivation letter for a master program in Germany? The selection process involves an interview, that is what I mentioned at the end of the letter. Any comments would be a great help!
Thanks in advance!


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Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply to your master program "Social, Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience". I have a bachelor's degree is in Computer Science, earned in the Universidade Federal de São Paulo, in Brazil. I am also on the last semester of a second bachelor program at the TU Berlin, called "Natural Sciences in the Society of Information" (Naturwissenschaften In der Informationsgesellschaft). This is an interdisciplinary study program that combines natural sciences and computer science.
My interest in neuroscience started already in the first semester of my current studies, when I took the course “Introduction to Cognitive Neuroscience”. That interest grew stronger as I read some literature and did further courses in the area. I decided very early to apply for a master program in the area of neuroscience, and I could therefore use my course's flexible curriculum to choose the subjects that were relevant for that purpose. I have taken courses in psychology, bio-psychology, cognitive neuropsychology, cognitive algorithms (machine learning), applications of cognitive algorithms, introduction to the computer-aided data analysis with Matlab, statistics and experiment planning and introduction to the the statistical program "R".

I am working on my bachelor thesis this semester, under the supervision of Prof. Jose da Silva of the Brain Computer Interface group. The goal of the work is to enable subjects to write words and simple sentences using only decoded EEG signals. Contrary to other brain computer interface spellers that already exists, this one should be operated while the subjects have their eyes closed, allowing future applications to be used by patients who are no longer able to open their eyes.

I am a very motivated student and my average grade is 1.3. Neuroscience is an area that I am truly passionate for, and I am certain that my computer science and natural sciences background are a very good basis for being successful not only in your master's program, but also for a research career in the area. I am looking forward to the opportunity to participate in your program next semester.

I will be away from Berlin after the 16th of July; I would therefore appreciate if I could do my interview before that date. Should you need any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours faithfully,

My name

 

[EnglishFix]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply to your master's program "Social, Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience". I have a bachelor's degree in Computer Science earned at the Universidade Federal de São Paulo in Brazil. I am also on the last semester of a second bachelor's program at the TU Berlin, called "Natural Sciences in the Information Society" (Naturwissenschaften In der Informationsgesellschaft). This is an interdisciplinary study program that combines natural science and computer science.

My interest in neuroscience started in the first semester of my current studies when I took the course called “Introduction to Cognitive Neuroscience”. That interest grew stronger as I read some literature and took further courses in the area. I decided very early to apply for a master's program in the area of neuroscience and I could therefore use my course's flexible curriculum to choose the subjects that were relevant for that purpose. I have taken courses in psychology, bio-psychology, cognitive neuropsychology, cognitive algorithms (machine learning), the applications of cognitive algorithms, computer-aided data analysis with Matlab, statistics and experiment planning using the statistical program "R".

I am working on my bachelor's thesis this semester, under the supervision of Prof. Jose da Silva of the Brain Computer Interface group. The goal of the work is to enable subjects to write words and simple sentences using only decoded EEG signals. Contrary to other brain computer interface spellers that already exist, this one should be operated while the subjects have their eyes closed, allowing future applications to be used by patients who are no longer able to open their eyes.

I am a very motivated student and my average grade is 1.3. Neuroscience is an area that I am truly passionate about and I am certain that my computer science and natural science background are a very good foundation for being successful not only in your master's program, but also for a research career in the field. I am looking forward to the opportunity to participate in your program next semester.

I will be away from Berlin after the 16th of July. I would therefore appreciate if I could do my interview before that date. Should you need any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours faithfully,

 

[sininho]

Thank you a lot, Englishfix, for fixing my English!

 

[EnglishFix]

You're welcome, all the best to you!