[Grammar] IELTS BOOK 8 - TEST 1 - WRITING TASK 01

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Dilini123

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Could you please correct my writing test answer below?

Writing Task 1

Cause of worldwide land degradation

The article is about the degradation of lands on earth. According to the pie chart shown in the paper, causes land degradation has divided into four categories. Thirty percent of world land degrades due to deforestation, which means cutting trees or forests, twenty eight percent of land for over – cultivation, thirty five percent of land for over – grazing, which may due to farming and dairy industry activities and seven percent of land degradation for other purposes.
If study the cause of land degradation by region, it can find that Oceania has 11.3% of degradation level for over- grazing which is the highest level degradation for over – grazing. New Zealand and large number of islands included to this region. North America and Europe having 1.5% and 5.5% of degradation level in order. But Oceania maintaining a zero percent of degradation level for over cultivation, while Europe 7.7% and North America maintaining 3.3 percent of land degradation for over cultivation. When study the it is clearly visible Europe is having the most degradation of land in the world while North America having less degradation level.

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EnglishFix

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The Cause of Worldwide Land Degradation

The article is about the degradation of lands on earth. According to the pie chart shown in the paper, the causes of land degradation have been divided into four categories. Thirty percent of world's land degrades due to deforestation, which means cutting down trees or forests, twenty eight percent of the land from overcultivation, thirty five percent of land from overgrazing, which may be due to farming and dairy industry activities and seven percent from land degradation for other purposes.

If studying the cause of land degradation by region, it can be found that Oceania has 11.3% of its degradation level from overgrazing which is the highest level degradation from overgrazing. New Zealand and large number of islands are included in this region. North America and Europe have 1.5% and 5.5% of degradation level in that order. But Oceania maintains a zero percent degradation level from overcultivation, while Europe is 7.7% and North America maintains 3.3 percent of land degradation from over cultivation. When study this, it is clearly visible that Europe is having the most degradation of land in the world while North America has a lower degradation level.
 
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