[Essay] Lets everybody share your writing and then check it together

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RizwanAhmedMemon

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Jun 17, 2013
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Sindhi
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Pakistan
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Here is my piece of writing. Check it, and tell me all the improvements that you think should be there. Help me be a good writer.


Lonely Days Without You
Writer: Rizwan Ahmed Memon
Date: 16/6/2013

Again it's raining today, and I feel your absence more deeply. We would have been together long ago, but these people have been obstacle in our way. Some say, I don't earn, others say I won't be able to deal with the challenges of life. However, I would do my best, and my God will help me as always, and I will show everyone that I can do anything in life.

I have done such extraordinary things being in a society, where hardly anyone does. I went to university, which is my highest achievement, I learned computer and English. I consider them my achievements. If they say I have not done anything, can't they see my these achievements? Soon I will complete my university, then I will get you anyhow, and my lonely days would cease to exist. I would put my all energy and skills in my work, so I would make at least enough money to keep you happy and fulfill your wishes.

Without you I am worried most of the time. People keep me hurting, but I believe when you would come my all the worries would disappear, and my all the wounds which people have caused me would heal completely.
 

abir999999

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In reference of your subject line I want to say. Yes, that's a way to improve written English.
 

billmcd

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Mar 27, 2009
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United States
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Are you familiar with the word/terms "please" and "thank you"?
 
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