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  1. #1
    Achelius is offline Newbie
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    Default help !!!

    Hello from Greece, hope that you are doing fine !!!

    So, I need your help. For the following text, can you say if the sentences are fine, both grammatically and syntactically? Suggest some proposals ….


    The global increase in the rate of population aging is an opportunity for investment in medical equipment. The elderly people are the fastest growing segment of the population on a global scale (Beard 2010). It is estimated that by 2025, 1/3 of Europeans will be over 65 years old (Legare, 2001). The increased number of vulnerable population (elderly and sick) has created the need for several supportive monitoring technologies. (Ângelo Costa and associates, 2012).

    Quite interesting observation is that the "Falls in older people" occupying the first position of mortality by accident to the elderly and is estimated to be responsible for 40% of deaths from injuries in people over 65 years old. Fractures of the hip and upper leg area, wrist, femur and heavy muscle injuries are frequent. The 75% of cases relating sudden death causes (Rubenstein, 2006) .The fear of a new fall strongly influence morale in the elderly, who often lose the meaning of life and incoming depression (Liddle and Gilleard, 1995).”

  2. #2
    Rover_KE is online now Moderator
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    Default Re: help !!!

    Welcome to the forums.

    Why are you asking this?

    If it's homework, we do not do it for you.

    Rover

  3. #3
    Achelius is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help !!!

    no it is for linkedin and i would like to know if it is right

  4. #4
    Rover_KE is online now Moderator
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    Default Re: help !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Achelius View Post
    no it is for linkedin and i would like to know if it is right
    Please edit that sentence. Your first post shows that you are capable of using standard English.

    What's 'linkedin'?

  5. #5
    Achelius is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help !!!

    I want to use this text in a presentation. I would like to know if it is grammatically and syntactically correct.Thats all !!!

  6. #6
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: help !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Achelius View Post
    Hello from Greece, hope that you are doing fine !!!

    So, I need your help. For the following text, can you say if the sentences are fine, both grammatically and syntactically? and suggest some proposals ….?
    (Regardless of what you may have read on the Internet, "So" is not the proper way to begin this sentence)

    The global increase in the rate of population aging is an opportunity for investment (Either "an investment", or, "investments") in medical equipment. The Elderly people are the fastest growing segment of the population on a global scale (Beard 2010). It is estimated that by 2025, 1/3 of Europeans will be over 65 years old (Legare, 2001). The increased number of the vulnerable population (elderly and sick) has created the need for several supportive monitoring technologies. (Ângelo Costa and associates, 2012).

    A quite interesting observation is that the "Falls in older people" occupying occupies the first position of mortality by accident to the elderly and is estimated to be responsible for 40% of deaths from injuries in people over 65 years old. Fractures of the hip and upper leg area, wrist, femur and heavy muscle injuries are frequent. The 75% of cases relating sudden death causes (Rubenstein, 2006) (Unsure of what this means) .The fear of a new fall strongly influences morale in the elderly, who often lose the meaning of life and incoming depression (Either "become depressed", or, "suffer depression")(Liddle and Gilleard, 1995).”
    If this text is meant to present your profile, I don't believe that you have to prove every statement by citation.

  7. #7
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    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: help !!!

    That is one of the strangest things I have ever seen intended for LinkedIn. The text on that website should be about you, your achievements, your qualities, your talents etc.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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    Achelius is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help !!!

    THANK YOU SIR !!! and finally for this two paragraphs ...

    "Return on investment (ROI) expected to be highly profitable for two reasons:

    The growing spread of Alzheimer's disease and dementia has already created the need for supporting technologies. In the future, it is expected to be even greater demand for such products. (Adelina Comas and associates, 2010)

    Current generations are technologically educated and quite familiar to use electronic systems. Therefore, when these people arrive in the third age, it is quite easy to understand the usefulness of such systems and to use themes."

  9. #9
    Achelius is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: help !!!

    any help !!!

  10. #10
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    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: help !!!

    I am not going to deal with your paragraphs because I still can't see how they're for LinkedIn. However, I will make some points about your last three posts.

    1. Do not address everyone here as "Sir". Many of us are female.
    2. Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    3. Do not put a space before a punctuation mark.
    4. One punctuation mark is enough. There is no need for three exclamation marks, for example.
    5. Do not try to bump a thread only three hours after posting it. You need to be patient. We are all volunteers and here in most of the Western part of the globe, it is Sunday, a day many of us don't spend much time working.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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