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  1. #1
    JACEK1 is offline Senior Member
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    wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop

    It's me again!
    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style.

    I think I know exactly what the sentence above means.

    Wouldn't it be more clearer if commas were included before 'as' and after 'role'?

    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly, as part of her job requirement for her current role, to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style.

    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style, (which was) as part of her job requirement for her current role.

    Short Hair Job Requirement: Lauren Holly

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Re: wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop

    Yours are clearer but there's nothing wrong with the original.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  3. #3
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    MikeNewYork is offline VIP Member
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    Re: wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop

    Quote Originally Posted by JACEK1 View Post
    It's me again!
    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style.

    I think I know exactly what the sentence above means.

    Wouldn't it be more clearer if commas were included before 'as' and after 'role'?

    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly, as part of her job requirement for her current role, to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style.

    Rumor has it that the producers of TV's hot Navy crime drama, NCIS, wanted Lauren Holly to crop her shoulder length lush red strands into a short hair style, (which was) as part of her job requirement for her current role.

    Short Hair Job Requirement: Lauren Holly
    I agree with your placement of commas before "as" and after "role".

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: wanted Lauren Holly as part of her job requirement for her current role to crop

    It reads better with the commas to me too.

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