Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Theofilos Georgiou is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Cyprus
      • Current Location:
      • Cyprus
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    4
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Content organisation 5 marks
    Accuracy 5 marks
    Task completion 5 marks

    Task : You are currently spending a year abroad. Write a letter to your parents, explaining how your experience has changed you

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________

    7 Any Street
    Limasol
    8765
    Dear Parents,

    I Am fine , what about you? I am writing to you today because i want
    to tell you all my news and also i have to say some things about my
    experience in england.

    I Am so Glad because here i met a lot of people and i did a lot of friends.
    Everything is perfect here. My flatmates, peter and jane are very good
    persons and they help me for everything i need. I Face some problems too,
    it's too cold here and there is not hot water for shower and i am doing with cold
    so i am getting sick all the time. Also the city center of the town is far and i need
    to take a 20-minute bus to get there.

    That's all about me, everything is under control and i have everything that i need
    here. My friends are always here. i am looking forward to hear from you soon

    Best Wishes,

    Theo

  2. #2
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,421
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    For starters, ALWAYS capitalize "I", even if it's not at the beginning of a sentence.
    Also, remember to capitalize proper names (England, Peter, Jane).

    One thing about accuracy: I feel complaining the way you do in the second paragraph and then ending the letter saying that "everything is under control" seem contradictory positions.
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

  3. #3
    Theofilos Georgiou is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Cyprus
      • Current Location:
      • Cyprus
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    4
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Thank u very much , but please , try to put a mark for me !

  4. #4
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,421
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Theofilos Georgiou View Post
    Thank you very much[no space], but please[no space], try to put a mark for me[no space]!
    I'd give you 3 points for Content Organisation; 2 for Accuracy and 3 for Task Completion. Other members's opinions may differ, though.
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

  5. #5
    Theofilos Georgiou is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • Greek
      • Home Country:
      • Cyprus
      • Current Location:
      • Cyprus
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    4
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Please check out this also :

    I Need a mark out of 25 in the composition above

    Content organisation 5 marks
    Accuracy 5 marks
    Range of vocabulary and structure 5 marks
    Appropriacy of tone and register 5 marks
    Task completion 5 marks

    Topic : Advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones (250-300 words)
    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ___________________

    Nowadays, Mobile phones have become a big part in our life. We can use mobile phones
    even if we need to make a phone call, but also we can use it to surf the internet. As we know,
    mobile phones have many advantages and disadvantages.

    The main advantage of mobile phones is that you can use it anywere and any time you want
    even you are in the school and wou want to speak with your parents, event if you want to call
    your friends in the afternoon. One major advantage of mobile phones, is that you can surf the internet
    if the phone has the wireless connection ability. The most important advantage of it, is that you can use
    it when you are in emergency and you don't know what to do.

    On the other hand there are also disadvantages. The main disadvantage of mobile phones is that you need
    to put credit's when you do not have and sometimes you do not understand that the credits are finished as a
    result if you want to call in an emergency you can't. An additional disadvantage is the battery. Maybe you will forget to
    charge the mobile and when you speak it can close. The most importand disadvantage of mobile phones is that they have radious
    and radious affect the mind , as a result we have headaches and similar things.

    In conclusion, i have to say that mobile phones are good and bad both. I Suggest that when we use the mobile phone
    we don't have to use it for a lot of time.
    Last edited by Tdol; 04-Jul-2013 at 14:00. Reason: Link removed

  6. #6
    charliedeut's Avatar
    charliedeut is offline VIP Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Interested in Language
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,421
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Quote Originally Posted by Theofilos Georgiou View Post
    Content organisation 5 marks
    Accuracy 5 marks
    Task completion 5 marks
    Quote Originally Posted by Theofilos Georgiou View Post
    Please check out this also :

    I Need a mark out of 25 in the composition above

    Content organisation 5 marks
    Accuracy 5 marks
    Range of vocabulary and structure 5 marks
    Appropriacy of tone and register 5 marks
    Task completion 5 marks
    As for the punctuation, I'm subtracting you points because you provided insufficient data in your first post, as you can see .

    As for the essay on mobile phones, you have already started a thread for us to go through, which is the thing to do. Please don't post unrelated questions in the same thread. You'll have to wait for someone to have a look at the other post.
    Please be aware that I'm neither a native English speaker nor a teacher.

  7. #7
    DavidJones's Avatar
    DavidJones is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Post deleted

    There were simply too many errors remaining. Theofilos would not have known what was good and what was not.

    5jj


    Last edited by 5jj; 05-Jul-2013 at 14:23. Reason: GIVEN ABOVE

  8. #8
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17,342
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Holy crap, David. If that's how a human being proofreads, I can only guess what an unholy mess your software makes of the customers' writing.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  9. #9
    DavidJones's Avatar
    DavidJones is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    5
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    Thank you Bard_D for the criticism, I would like to mention this was a quick scan from our software without adding the enrichment part. I believe I corrected more than 15-20 errors and thus this would be useful to the user. I would also like to mention this wasn't a human proof reading, and you are more than welcome to see reviews on the software. I am only here to assist the community.

    thank you :)

  10. #10
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Other
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    17,342
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Could you add a mark on the letter above please?

    David, frankly, I'm appalled. I don't usually take personal interactions public, but people who use this forum and depend on the answers they get here to communicate clearly or improve their writing need to see the GAPING holes left in the proofreading your software provided. It missed capitalized verb, numerous comma splices, wrong prepositions, and incorrect collocations.

    The problem is that our users don't know what they don't know; if you say "Here's your text after proofreading" they will think they are good to go.

    This forum is not to advertise your project. Please refrain from running the text through your software and posting it as though you have actually performed a free proofread. It's not helping.

    Dear Parents, - Dear Mom and Dad, Dear Mum and Dad, etc.

    I Am fine, what about you?
    Two errors. We don't capitalize verbs and there is a comma splice. I am fine. What about you? (or "Hope you are too.")

    I am writing to you today because I want to tell you all my news, and also I have to say some things about my experience in England. Awkward. Doesn't "all my news" include your experiences in England? Don't start out a personal letter to family with "I am writing to you today" as a matter of register. "I want to tell you about my experiences so far."

    I Am so glad because here I met a lot of people, and I did a lot of friend. I am so happy because I have met a lot of people here, and I have made a lot of friends.

    Everything is perfect here. This would be okay except for the list of complaints you have later. So it's not "perfect."

    My flatmates, Peter and Jane are very good persons, and they help me for everything I need. My flatmates, Peter and Jane, are very good people, and they help me with everything I need.

    From here on out, I'll just highlight the errors.
    I Face some problems too, it's too cold here and there is not hot water for shower, and I am doing with cold,so I am getting sick all the time. Also the city center of the town is far, and I need to take a 20-minute bus to get there. (Again, you see why "perfect" is not the right choice above.)

    That's all about me, everything is under control, and I have everything that I needhere.

    My friends are always here. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

    Best Wishes,

    Theo
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 05-Jul-2013 at 23:13.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] Could you add a mark on the essayabove please?
    By Theofilos Georgiou in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-Jul-2013, 22:15
  2. [Essay] Could you add a mark on the essayabove please?
    By Theofilos Georgiou in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 03-Jul-2013, 22:15
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 28-May-2012, 23:21
  4. Word first letter add to end spelled backwrods
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 29-Jul-2007, 11:19

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •