Please help me correct my letter to the immigration

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Raplills

New member
Joined
Jul 12, 2013
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
English
Home Country
Portugal
Current Location
United States
hi how you doing? my name is rap lil im 22 years old i been here since 2006 i came here when i was 15 years old and the reason why is because things wasn't going that good in Portugal, and then my sister asked me for help because she was a single mom and she needed help baby sitting her daughter my beautiful niece Natalie, so i decided to come because like i said before things weren't really good in Portugal financially, my dad was really sick in a wheel chair so he couldn't work so i felt like without me being there it would be a lost mouth to feed, my mother dint t work because she took care of my dad and my grandma all the time, my grandma use to give my mom some money but it wasn't enough, anyways so i decided to come and spend the summer with my sister and my niece. then summer was over and i had to go back to Portugal but a few days before that my parents called me and asked me to stay in the USA with my sister because they couldn't afford to have me there the economy was really bad, my father was getting worse so they couldn't take care of me, so they give my custody to my sister, i aint gonna lie it was hard in the beginning because everything was just so new to me but has time went by it got easier and i started to love it here, i have a great family. after a while i got so tired of being an illegal and i really dint know about the law so there was times i just wanna to give up and go back to Portugal but i never did cause i was so scared not to be able to come back to USA and here is where i grew up and got raised since i was 15 years old. i met this guys in 2010 and it was love at first sight he gives me strength he really does. it gets hard it really does, i don't really have friends because im scared to go out and have fun. in 2010 i tried to apply for petition alien but i got denied because my sister wasn't an american citizen and the fees wasn't right, im happy with my life in a way but im missing my free down, im only gonna be fully happy when i know im safe, im legal and i don't have to be scared to be taking away from what i know, from what i have or what i love, and that's being here in this country. i tried to apply for schools but i needed a social so i give up on school, but someday i would love to take my GED and become a somebody. it makes me sad and depress knowing im almost 23 years old and i never accomplish anything in life. sometimes i feel like im 15 years old i just arrived here because 7 years later nothing much has changed. i took a big change on going to homeland, but i really need to change the way i live my life. almost two months ago i moved in with my boyfriend and its amazing but sometimes its so hard because one paycheck its not enough and with all the bills its hard and stressful. im so scared i cannot keep living like this anymore, i need a change in my life, i really don't wanna go back to Portugal, this is my home this is where my heart is. i have so much i cant loose and im not talking about material things im talking about family, the ones who makes me happy, the ones who made me who i am today, taking that away from me will break my heart. i wanna have a life with my boyfriend, i wanna get married, have a family with him someday. i wanna stay in this country, become legal be able to work, support myself, become independent. i wanna be normal be a somebody do what normal people do. USA is where the opportunities are, i feel safe here, protected, my family is here. please don't take that way from me please give me a change... i hope you understand my situation




thank u so much whoever corrects my letter
 

charliedeut

VIP Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Spanish
Home Country
Spain
Current Location
Spain
You could start by using correct capitalization (first person pronoun "I" is always capitalized, beginning of sentences...), punctuation and paragraphs. Also, please avoid using non-standard terms like "ain't" or "u" meaning "you".
 

tzfujimino

Key Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2007
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Japanese
Home Country
Japan
Current Location
Japan
Hello.:-D
I feel as if I were reading a transcript of an interview, which is to say it's written in spoken language.
I'm not saying it's bad, but I think you'll need to follow charlie's advice.
 

Chicken Sandwich

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Russian Federation
Current Location
Netherlands
Raplills, please amend your profile to show your true native language.
 

Gillnetter

Key Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2010
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
If this is truly a letter which you intend to send to the US government, I would suggest that you do not send it. Even if it was edited and all grammatical mistakes were taken out, you are admitting to violating the laws of the US. Contact an immigration lawyer to see what options you may have.
 
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