Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1
    jamiestgermaine is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Descriptive Essay

    Can some one read over this descriptive essay to tell me what needs to be fixed? Thank you

    MyBest Friend
    Whatdo you look for in a friend? Wikipedia defines friendship as a “relationship ofmutual affection between two or more people.Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than anassociation.” In my opinion, a friend is loyal, sincere,helpful, trustworthy and honest. They accept you forthe person you are and they don’t judge you, but supports you. Someone you cantalk to about anything and know they would never stab you in the back. Aperson, who walks with you through life, helps you get through bad times andcelebrates with you through the good times. Heidi Pogue represents the verydefinition of friend.
    Mybest friend is Heidi Pogue. We have been friends for 7 years since 2006. Wefirst met in Fort Bliss Texas. This was our first duty station in the military.Our husbands were in the same company and that is how they met. They becamefriends instantly and introduced us to one another. When her husband gotstationed to Fort Drum NY, we were separated for about 6 months before I gotstationed there as well.
    Wewere pregnant around the same time in that hot summer sun. In the heat of thesun we would waddle down to the mailboxes, like penguins, together. Ourdaughters, Serenity and Maddy, were born a week apart in late December. Sincebirth, our daughters have been together almost every day.
    Heidiis a great person with an enormous heart. She is always willing to help someoneout in need. She will give you the shirt off her back if you need it. This hasbeen a problem in the past, with personnel in her life always taking from herbut never giving back.
    Sheis a very sociable person. Her house is always filled with friends all weekendlong. During the hot summer months, there is always someone on the barbequegrill cooking all the delicious food. The kids will be playing in the backyardwith pool to cool them down, while the adults are sitting in the cool shadetalking. In the winter months; when there is snow on the ground, the kids areeither playing in the snow building snowmen or playing inside. The adults arealways laughing and watching movies or playing a game as well.
    Heidiis very trustworthy and honest. If youtell her something that you don’t want anyone else to know, she will take thatsecret to her grave. I have told her many of things and she has yet to tellanother person. As for being honest, ifshe doesn’t like at something you say or if you make her mad, she will tell itto your face. She accepts me for who I am and has never judged me or thechoices I have made in my life.
    HeidiPogue is more than a friend to me; she is the sister I never had. Both of our families are really close to eachother. During the holidays, we spend time with each other like families do. Wehave been there for each other through thick and thin, the good and the badtimes. We may argue and fall out over simple and uncomplicated items. Sometimesthis will happen and we don’t talk for a few days or weeks. Then after eachperson has chilled out for a while, we make up and laugh at what happened. Thisis what family does. We forgive each other for stupid stuff the other personmay have said or done.
    Inconclusion, this is why Heidi is my best friend. She is trustworthy, honest,loyal and reliable in difficult situations. She is and will always be a part ofmy life.

  2. #2
    billmcd is offline Key Member
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    3,505
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Descriptive Essay

    What is the purpose of writing the essay?

  3. #3
    jamiestgermaine is offline Newbie
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • Student or Learner
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Descriptive Essay

    The purpose is for my english class. We are supposed to write a descriptive essay and i just want to know if there are corrections to be made.

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    23,756
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: Descriptive Essay

    Quote Originally Posted by jamiestgermaine View Post
    The purpose is for my English class. We are supposed to write a descriptive essay and I just want to know if there are corrections to be made.
    So this is your homework and you are going to submit this essay to your teacher. In that case, I'm afraid we cannot help you. It would be extremely unfair for us to help with homework. Your teacher needs to see what you can do on your own. He/she has no interest in how well we can write an essay!

    Write the best essay you can, submit it to your teacher and then, after it has been marked/corrected, you can come back to the forum to ask us to explain any errors found by your teacher.

    I am closing this thread so that no other members inadvertently help you with your homework. You can start a new thread after you get your essay back from your teacher.

    Good luck.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

Similar Threads

  1. Descriptive essay
    By onetwothree in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 04-Oct-2009, 17:14
  2. [Essay] descriptive essay
    By lolipop in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-Oct-2009, 10:49
  3. [Essay] Descriptive essay
    By kira2nyc in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 26-Sep-2009, 17:07
  4. Descriptive Essay help
    By Link24 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-Sep-2007, 22:07
  5. Descriptive essay
    By Unregistered in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Jan-2005, 00:26

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •