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    #1

    grammatically correct?

    Is my sentence grammatically correct? If not, how can it be improved.

    They do not make good role models because their role in society is so insignificant that they do not greatly effect our world as much as doctors, who save millions of lives, teachers, who educate the future of this country, or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to University.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: grammatically correct?

    1. Check the difference between "effect" and "affect".
    2. "University" does not need to be capitalised unless you are specifying which university.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  2. Raymott's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Maxli View Post
    Is my sentence grammatically correct? If not, how can it be improved.

    They do not make good role models because their role in society is so insignificant that they do not greatly effect our world as much as doctors, who save millions of lives, teachers, who educate the future of this country, or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to University.
    You might want to consider semicolons to separate phrases that themselves contain commas:
    " ... as much as doctors, who save millions of lives; teachers, who educate the future of this country; or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly ..."

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    #4

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Do we need a comma before the participle phrase at the end (working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to university.)?

  3. Raymott's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by virus99 View Post
    Do we need a comma before the participle phrase at the end (working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to university.)?
    It's optional. I think one of us would have mentioned it if we'd thought strongly that it was necessary.

  4. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Does any one doctor really save millions of lives?
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  5. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Barb_D View Post
    Does any one doctor really save millions of lives?
    Probably not but I am happy with the plural "doctors" in the OP.

  6. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: grammatically correct?

    If we're being picky, I don't like the change from plural doctors and plural teachers to the singular "the mother."
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  7. Raymott's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Do teachers really educate the future of this country?

  8. bhaisahab's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: grammatically correct?

    Quote Originally Posted by Raymott View Post
    Do teachers really educate the future of this country?
    In the sense that the future of the country is its young people, then yes, I think they do.

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