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  1. #11
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Quote Originally Posted by santonica View Post
    I will post some writing tasks I have made. From the previous corrections,I have learned some points.However, I believe that my ideas also in tasks need improvement. So, are there any techniques to develop them ?
    I tried to read an English newspapers like the guardian and the economist but, I did not understand most idioms. In other words, I feel the style of writing is relatively different from what is needed in IELTS.
    What academic reading do you do?

  2. #12
    santonica is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    What academic reading do you do?
    I do not read so much. May be that is why I have insufficient ideas about the IELTS topics as well as the topics I read are not related to what I need. I usually read political journal articles and economic reports.
    Although,I see the recent IELTS exams tend to be focused on topics like that unlike it was before.Academic writing before was more related to health.environment and education than now.

  3. #13
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Try posting a sample up here to look at.

  4. #14
    santonica is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    Try posting a sample up here to look at.


    OK.This is one sample I posted in the editing section a week ago but no one commented. I would be much appreciated if you would estimate me with the band score.


    Experimental science is one type of many fields that has been evolved in the recent years.This justified by the large amount of experiments that have been carried on animals.
    Firstly, performing some types of experiments was essential especially those that related to drugs.This is because, without those trials,pharmacists may not be able to identify enough information about drugs and its variable effects.To realize how this trend is really serious, we have to get back to the mids of the last century, when a pharmacist invented "Thalidomide", a new drug preventing vomiting in pregnants.However, this drug was evolutionary in its effect, it caused thousand cases that were born with permanent deformity.That is why, today licensing a new drug requires ten years or more of research and multiple trials on animals.
    The previous argument is not completely true, as not all experiments are such dangerous if not tried firstly on animals. Like injection with previously known toxic substances.
    In some west countries, scientists tried to innovate or replace such trials to carry it on toys and robots but unfortunately, the consequences were not as seen in animals.This is due to the fact,that robots neither toys have feelings and genes to be close to human beings.
    In my opinion, i can stand that such type of trials should be first approved by an ethical committee that includes multiple experts in this field, to assess if there is a need to include mammals,birds or reptiles in it and at the same time to ensure protection the rights of animals as possible.
    Moreover, with the fact that, it is unappropriate to perform this on human beings or any thing else,legislation and law is enough to gurantee this.

  5. #15
    santonica is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    I tried to post it now but my request denied.

  6. #16
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Experimental science is one type of many fields that has been evolved in the recent years.
    What point is being made here? I don't know the exact wording, but this gets the piece off to a weak start. It is vague and doesn't say much. So many areas of life *have evolved* in recent years- is this a point worth making? What has the reader learned by the end of the first sentence, which is one of the most important? I would drop the idea of introductions like this and get to the point. A general framing sentence is usually more of a distraction IMO, especially when you don't have that much space or time as in the exam.

    The first paragraph brings in Thalidomide, though the situation with it was more complex than this, but it could have been a relevant point. However, you then begin the next paragraph by saying that the main paragraph is not completely true, which is weakening your own argument- you wrote it, so why isn't it true? Can you write your view with clarity in a single sentence? It's hard to see exactly what you want to say at times.

    Do you make plans? I'd try to condense the points you want to make into short, clear sentences before starting and make sure you get those across.

  7. #17
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Quote Originally Posted by santonica View Post
    I tried to post it now but my request denied.
    You cannot post links until you have posted ten times- it's to stop spammers and advertisers. When you clicked the reply with quote option, it uses a link.

  8. #18
    santonica is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    So,lack of clarity is a weak point that i have to improve.Also,poor planning is another feature that requires some effort.Can you please guide me how to plan for writing an essay ?
    Is it just a process of linking relevant words.For example, when write about education, we write about schools,students,teachers,syllabus, curriculum,maths and minds.
    Thank you for help.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Remember that you have to have a space after your punctuation mark and that the pronoun "I" is always capitalized. It is very hard for me to look past these types of mistakes to the content of what you write.

    No, you do not simply link related words. You have to have a plan.

    It is important to properly test drugs before they are used widely to make sure they don't cause harm.
    -- Give an example.

    Scientists use animals to make sure things are safe for humans. (I'm pretty sure they have never tested drugs on robots!) This is good for the humans, but bad for the animals.

    When animal testing is necessary, humans have a responsibilty to be humane - to ensure the test is needed, that it will lead to useful results, and that the experiments will cause as little pain and suffering as possible.


    You have to come up with your three main ideas first (mine are just suggestions), and then figure out how to build your story.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  10. #20
    santonica is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: have a problem in academic IELTS writing

    Thank you for help. In fact I have other options than IELTS but writing rules are almost the same in all English language exams. So, I see that with a little effort, I will get the score. What do you think ?

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