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  1. #1
    nayabaybee2210 is offline Newbie
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    Default Can you please help me revise my paper

    One of Machiavelli's mostcontroversial statements is “A man who wishes to make a vocation of being goodat all times will come to ruin among so many who are not good.”If Lau-tzo wereto respond to this respond he would strongly agree. Lau-tzo believes that ifyou give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear on its own. The American politicalenvironment in this current decade supports this statement as well because inpolitics when one promises to something for the world another tries to corrupt themto believe it will not work. This statement is irrelevant, simply being thatthere is no such thing as good or bad people. Everyone seems to feel that whatit is they do is for a good cost.


    Accordingto Lau-tzo “if you over esteem great men, people become powerless and if you overvaluepossessions people begin to steal…. Lau-tzo also mentions that you have topractice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” Unfortunately Lau-tzohas the wrong idea because anyone can show respect to anyone but still feelthat they have the authority to do whatever they want to do. In this decaderespect doesn’t mean much to anyone as it may have did back then. He mentions“throwingaway holiness and wisdom, morality and justice, industry and profit” and feelsgetting rid of these things will bring people happiness, make people do the rightthings and there won’t be any thieves. How would getting rid of these artificialcategories actually solve anything? Wouldn’t it make things worse than theyalready were? Getting rid of importance is like getting rid of state laws suchas speed limits, traffic lights, car regulations and so forth.

  2. #2
    mglad is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    Hey nayabaybee,

    Here are some edits:

    > ifyou give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear
    "if there is nothing to oppose evil" / "if evil encounters no opposition"

    >
    One of Machiavelli's mostcontroversial statements is “A man who wishes to make a vocation of being goodat all times will come to ruin among so many who are not good.”
    > If Lau-tzo wereto respond to this respond he would strongly agree.
    > Lau-tzo believes that ifyou give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear
    on its own.
    Your third sentence is actually not that similar to your first one.
    In the first sentence, Machiavelli is saying good people will suffer because of the bad people around them.
    In the third, Lau-Tzu is saying if there is no good, there will be no evil (i.e. if there are no good people, there will be no bad people).

    >
    one promises to something for the world
    one promises to do something for the world

    >
    This statement is irrelevant, simply being thatthere is no such thing as good or bad people.
    Which statement is irrelevant?

    >
    Everyone seems to feel that whatit is they do is for a good cost.
    This statement is confusing.
    Did you mean "cause" when you wrote "cost"?

    Anyway, I'm sorry for giving you such detailed comments!
    Hope they were helpful.
    Good luck, and remember - write a lot, receive a lot of feedback and read a lot - that is the only way to be a great writer!

  3. #3
    Gabbie435 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    ^^

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