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    #1

    Can you please help me revise my paper

    One of Machiavelli's mostcontroversial statements is “A man who wishes to make a vocation of being goodat all times will come to ruin among so many who are not good.”If Lau-tzo wereto respond to this respond he would strongly agree. Lau-tzo believes that ifyou give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear on its own. The American politicalenvironment in this current decade supports this statement as well because inpolitics when one promises to something for the world another tries to corrupt themto believe it will not work. This statement is irrelevant, simply being thatthere is no such thing as good or bad people. Everyone seems to feel that whatit is they do is for a good cost.


    Accordingto Lau-tzo “if you over esteem great men, people become powerless and if you overvaluepossessions people begin to steal…. Lau-tzo also mentions that you have topractice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” Unfortunately Lau-tzohas the wrong idea because anyone can show respect to anyone but still feelthat they have the authority to do whatever they want to do. In this decaderespect doesn’t mean much to anyone as it may have did back then. He mentions“throwingaway holiness and wisdom, morality and justice, industry and profit” and feelsgetting rid of these things will bring people happiness, make people do the rightthings and there won’t be any thieves. How would getting rid of these artificialcategories actually solve anything? Wouldn’t it make things worse than theyalready were? Getting rid of importance is like getting rid of state laws suchas speed limits, traffic lights, car regulations and so forth.

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    #2

    Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    Not a teacher

    Hey nayabaybee,

    Here are some edits:

    > if you give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear
    "if there is nothing to oppose evil" / "if evil encounters no opposition"

    >
    One of Machiavelli's most controversial statements is “A man who wishes to make a vocation of being good at all times will come to ruin among so many who are not good.”
    > If Lau-tzo were to respond to this respond he would strongly agree.
    > Lau-tzo believes that if you give evil nothing to oppose to it will disappear
    on its own.
    Your third sentence is actually not that similar to your first one.
    In the first sentence, Machiavelli is saying good people will suffer because of the bad people around them.
    In the third, Lau-Tzu is saying if there is no good, there will be no evil (i.e. if there are no good people, there will be no bad people).

    >
    one promises to something for the world
    one promises to do something for the world

    >
    This statement is irrelevant, simply being that there is no such thing as good or bad people.
    Which statement is irrelevant?

    >
    Everyone seems to feel that what it is they do is for a good cost.
    This statement is confusing.
    Did you mean "cause" when you wrote "cost"?

    Anyway, I'm sorry for giving you such detailed comments!
    Hope they were helpful.
    Good luck, and remember - write a lot, receive a lot of feedback and read a lot - that is the only way to be a great writer!
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 25-Oct-2014 at 17:15. Reason: Added "Not a teacher", fixed spacing issues and changed font

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    #3

    Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    What's wrong with you kids?! The first rule in any language is spacing.

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    #4

    Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    Fish-able, I don't know if your comment was aimed at mglad but if so, it was rather rude. There is an issue on the forum with spacing when one cuts/copies and pastes text from somewhere else. When the post is submitted, the spaces between some of the words vanish. It is not the writer's fault and generally, people come to realise the issue occurs and they go back later and edit their post. I have edited post #2 to put the spaces back in.

    Please also remember that a single, appropriate punctuation mark at the end of any sentence suffices. You need to choose between the question mark and the exclamation mark in post #11. Given the construction of the sentence, only one of them is appropriate of course.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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    #5

    Re: Can you please help me revise my paper

    Quote Originally Posted by fish-able View Post
    What's wrong with you kids?! The first rule in any language is spacing.
    We don't insult people like that here. If you want to insult people, please go elsewhere. If you do it again, please expect to be sent elsewhere. People copy and paste without choosing the right option and things get messed up- it's careless and hared to read, but it doesn't make it right to call them idiots.
    Last edited by Tdol; 27-Oct-2014 at 08:56.

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