October 31, 2013
Delete the words in red
Dear Professor [I assume you'll use the person's name, right?],
I appreciate this opportunity to provide further background [Have you given information already? otherwise "further" doesn't fit.] information in support of my application for entrance to Electrical Engineering and Information Technology program at the University of Applied Sciences.
I am both challenged and fascinated by the world of information technology, and this is the main reason why I decided to switch my study path I am pursuing this new course of study after a gaining a diploma in automobile repair.
During my study years In my studies, I have shown discipline, enthusiasm and motivation, and that was noticed by my professors who chose me for a very selective internship [to do what?] at the same [same as what?] university. This experience [you need to see what that internship was before you can refer to it as "this experience] along with other internship [doing what?] helped me to expand my knowledge beyond what I learned in the classroom.
This technical and professional development was paired by a personal growth that I experienced while participating in a social project in Bielefeld, [comma, not semi-colon] Germany, where I was hosted by a typical German family and had to step out of my comfort zone by working and communicating on daily basis with people from all over the world and with different backgrounds.
After coming back I began teaching myself the German language, and I have recently passed the Goethe admission test that will allow me to start studying with at the A2 level [I don't know what this is]. Unfortunately, I cannot provide an official document on time for my application but you may contact the Goethe center in Casablanca for any further information in regards with this test.Try this: This can be confirmed by the Goethe Center in Casablanca while I await the official certificates.
Having the opportunity to obtain a bachelor's degree from your university will enable me to learn, expand and develop my professional and scientific basics, especially in electrical engineering and electronics, mathematics and programming, digital and microcomputer technology during the first three semesters. I did not come to contact with these subjects in my previous bachelor and this before majoring in Communications Technology in your university.
Don't repeat the courses you'll take. He or she already knows the curriculum.
I would like to let you know that in case I get accepted in this bachelor, I am planning on working towards a master degree in communications technologies.
I'm my ultimate goal to obtain a master's degree in communications technology after I finish my bachelor's degree.
To conclude, I would like to add that, in addition to expanding my knowledge in the field of IT, studying in your university will provide me with the opportunity to grow further as a person by living and studying in an international environment.
Please refer to the accompanying resume to provide you with further details of my qualifications.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Thank you very much for your help.
After correcting my mistakes in this letter, can I show it again to u so you can revise it one last time?