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  1. #1
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    Mar 2006
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    Smile Hello!!! First question : Introducing new phrases in formal letters.

    Hello! Its my first post so Id like to tell you more or less my interests as regards English. Im Argentinian and currently Im studying to sit for the FCE of Cambridge this June. Besides Im really interested in learning this language efficiently, both by classes and on my own.
    Well, my question is about a formal letter I have just written and I want to know if some new phrases (for my vocabulary) are grammatically and semantically correct. Anyway im not asking for a complete correction, just to see if the parts in bold are right.
    Here it is.
    Dear Sir/Madam,
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I am writing with the aim of letting you know about my personal profile in order to get inserted in the labor market by means of a possible position in your company. I am twenty years old and I have recently qualified in my profession as a graphic designer
    As regards my education, an important detail to be considered is my strong orientation in advertising affairs, which I always tried to develop. Then I took the DesS Design Studies Program- at Harvard University, School of Design. Besides this, during my studies, I have attended many courses related to this subject.
    My experience consists in part-time jobs by Internet, working for the Publicity Agency of Essex, England. Other valuable proficiencies are my fluency in Spanish, Greek and French as well as a diverse knowledge in Economics. I have also full body mobility and I am a licensed driver.
    To conclude, I would like to let you know that I am available to start working without delay, previously attending an interview whenever you consider it is proper.
    Looking forward to a soon reply
    Yours Faithfully,
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Thank you very much!!!. Greetings. Dilmunis.

  2. #2
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    Re: Hello!!! First question : Introducing new phrases in formal letters.

    "I am writing to present my personal profile with a view to gaining employment within your company."

    I'm afraid your sentence sounds unnatural, and "get inserted in the labor market" is completely unusable as a phrase.

    "I am fully flexible with regards to location and hold a full driver's license."

    Again, "full body mobility" is totally unsuitable - it suggests that you are a gymnast unfortunately.

    Simply "subject to interview".

    Please do not fall under the misapprehension that "formal letter" equates with "flowery phrases". It doesn't. Even more so than in normal conversation, simple sentences are best. A formal letter works best when it sounds curt and to the point. When you over-elaborate, not only do you sound false, but you run the risk of appearing absurd because you are stretching your vocabulary beyond your ability. Think twice before using idioms unless you are 110% confident that you know what they mean and that they fit in your sentence. After you've thought twice about it, avoid using them.

  3. #3
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    Re: Hello!!! First question : Introducing new phrases in formal letters.

    Thank you very much, the problem is that teachers says you should avoid repetition. Have you got any guide of formal letters writing?.

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
    • Member Info
      • Member Type:
      • English Teacher
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
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    Re: Hello!!! First question : Introducing new phrases in formal letters.

    For formal letters, write clearly and in as few words as possible, though being very polite. State your purpose, give any further information, make it clear what you want them to do, thank them and close.

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