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  1. #1
    Neda9127 is offline Newbie
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    Default IELT'S essay . please help me with correcting this.

    Topic:Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology....


    It is indisputable that technology has a great role and effect on people's lives. The result of applying technological innovations in communication is undeniable, even when compared with the state existed several years ago (the world in the resent past)
    Consider also the countless consequences of technological changes. We are now beginning to see(witnessing) how our modern lives are being altered by recent technologies like computer or Internet. Before the digital era, people built their relationships based on visiting each other, writing letters or setting dates.In contrast, today people apply information through the use of computers, satellites and other forms of communication technologies. They spend much of their time in front of monitors. Furthermore, the relationships are not as strong as before.
    Specifically, this indulgence of using computer has brought about both positive and negative effects.Take, for example, connections via smart phones is much easier and faster; you have an access to anyone anywhere;distance isn't a matter anymore .Social platforms like facebook, twitter or Google plus help people up to share the news, their common interests and emotions.Not only this, but on a more particular way, companies or associations could interact with others in order to sell or buy goods which would have benefits for both sides.
    As far as I'm concerned, technology has a big impact on society, but in itself it is neutral. People are the ones who decide how to use technology and whether it is used for good or bad purposes. What is certain is that the rapid pace of using technology for communication is likely to continue.

    Last edited by Neda9127; 15-Nov-2013 at 14:58. Reason: I want to guess my overal in IELTS ........

  2. #2
    I.M. Knott is offline Newbie
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    Smile Re: IELT'S essay . please help me with correcting this.

    Below are just suggestions on how you might shorten and simplify...use your own words!

    It is indisputable that technological innovations in communication have a great effect on people's lives.
    Consider the countless consequences of technological changes in recent years. Our lives are being altered by modern technologies like computers and the internet.
    Increasing use of computers has brought about both positive and negative changes for society. Before the digital era, people built their relationships based on visiting each other, writing letters etc. In contrast, people today spend much of their time in front of monitors. Personal relationships are not as strong as before.
    On the other hand, new technologies like smart phones are much easier and faster. We now have access to virtually anyone, anywhere. Distance isn't a problem anymore. Social platforms like facebook, twitter or Google help people to share news, their common interests and emotions. Furthermore, businesses can interact more easily with customers to sell or buy goods.
    As far as I'm concerned, technology has a big impact on society, but in itself it is neutral. People are the ones who decide how to use technology and whether it is used for good or bad purposes. What is certain is that the rapid pace of using technology for communication is likely to continue.






  3. #3
    Neda9127 is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: IELT'S essay . please help me with correcting this.

    It must be at least 250 words

  4. #4
    I.M. Knott is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: IELT'S essay . please help me with correcting this.

    Your writing is very good. Just add more words.
    Best wishes

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