could you plese correct my Ielts essay

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amymoh1

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It is about the negtive effect of the internet on studenst and that the inernet should be restricted. how far do you agree with this statement?

Technology plays a big role in our life since we wake up till we go to bed again. Internet is one form of technology that people become so much dependent on it. For instance, student depend so much on the internet for research preparation, knowing the recent updates, getting contact with their teachers and sometimes they benefit from it for distant education. Some people believe that internet has so many negative effects on student and its use should be confined. In my opinion, I think it should not be restricted nor left wide open.
I shall discuss some of the negative effects. First of all, student tend to use the internet for preparing a research but a lot of online information are not true and some of it are not revised by trusted people. Moreover, internet may become addiction and the children will stay online for long hours as a result they will do little exercise and they might become obese. When they use the internet for everything they will not read from books which are revised and contain much more details than on the internet.
Now I will elaborate some of the advantages for internet use by students. They will have the recent information which will be hardly found in some books. Also they will be in contact with their teachers and colleges most of the time without having to waste time in meeting.
In a nut shell, I think we should give the student the chance to use the internet but at the same time we should teach them how to benefit the most from it and how to avoid its disadvantages.
 

emsr2d2

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W​hen will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked?
 

amymoh1

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iam preparing to take the ielts test this month . i study by my self
 

emsr2d2

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[STRIKE]iam[/STRIKE] I am preparing to take the [STRIKE]ielts[/STRIKE] IELTS test this month. I am studying by [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]self[/STRIKE] myself.

OK, then when someone has time, we will look at your essay. Please note the amendments I have made in red above. Please follow the rules of written English:

- Start every sentence with a capital letter.
- End every sentence with a single appropriate punctuation mark.
- Always capitalise the word "I".
- Capitalise all proper nouns and acronyms.
- Do not put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
- Always put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
 

amymoh1

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Thnak you so much.
 
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