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  1. #1
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    Smile help needed with magazine article

    hey, im new to this forum and im 15 and a friend and i have chosen to do an article for a poultry magazine. we are having problems writing the introduction and i need help desperately!
    i know what i want to write but i am unsure how to word it and introduce ourselves at the same time

    basically we want to write that we are called ruth and alexa, i am from england and she is from wales, but we wanted it to be worded like we are both writing it! we also want to explain that we met over a forum and have become great friends, even though we live so far away, purely because we have the same thing in common- poultry keeping! we have both had different experiences, so have so much to share with everyone, like everyone else does too!

    sorry to ramble on i just really need some help, making this sound like its come from both of us and making it neater! any help is greatly welcomed

    thanks
    alexa

  2. #2
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    Hi Alexa,

    The best way to do this is to try writing something in your own words, and present it here. None of us can know what it is you are trying to put across, but if you say it your way, we could probably help improve it.

  3. #3
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    Post Re: help needed with magazine article

    hey
    thanks for reply what ive said in the orginal post is what i would like to get across in my piece!
    what my friend are i are struggling to do is to introduce ourselves in a way that you would read it in a magazine, as well as making the text sound as if it is coming from both of us!

    hey im just editing my post
    here is a rough version of what we want to say and ive tried writing it! >>>>>

    We are ruth and alexa, we live in different parts of the Uk from each other. Ruth is from south wales and alexa is from the south of England. We have decided to write an article about our poultry and how we have become great friends via the forum, purely because we have one interest in common- keeping poultry. We have both had very different experiences with our animals and by sharing it with each other and everyone else on the forum we have managed to keep up a friendship that we are sure will last forever!

    as you see im having problems with the begining few sentences to make it sound like coming from both of us! any help please!!
    cheers
    lex x
    Last edited by alexa789; 21-Mar-2006 at 21:17.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    sorry to keep being annoying, yesterday i edited my post to show what i wanted to say!!
    ive explained how i wanted it to sound, ie like we are bothing saying it. does this come across, is there anyway i could improve it esp the first 2 lines!

    thanks for much for looking, would appreciate any help

    lex x

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    we live in different parts of the Uk from each other- 'from each other' is unnecessary
    How about:
    One of us, Ruth, is from south wales and the other, Alexa, is from...

  6. #6
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    Smile Re: help needed with magazine article

    thanks very much! that makes better sense now!

    cheers
    alexa

  7. #7
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    Good luck with the publication.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    We have decided to write an article about our poultry and how we have become great friends via the forum, purely because we have one interest in common- keeping poultry.

    Perhaps you could revise this sentence....leave of the "we have decided to write an article." How about: We have become great friends purely because we have one interest in common - keeping poultry.

    There's an old saying about writing: don't say it, do it. So you don't need to say you've decided to write an article - your readers are already looking at it.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: help needed with magazine article

    oh yes that makes sense, my english teacher is always going on about things like that!
    we have finished the whole article and are now emailing it to the editor!
    thanks everyone for your help

    lex

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