i would be grateful if you correct my letter

[youngbrilliant]

Could you kindly revise my letter and correct my mistakes and give me a mark out of 19
Dear Tim,
It's been ages since I last wrote to you but I was busy preparing for my final exams. Anyway I decided to drop you a line to express my happiness that I am about to meet my dear cousin.
I miss you so much and I am dying to see you. I hope you are safe and sound. I can't believe I can see you again after 6 years studying abroad. I'm on cloud nine. I was about to jump for joy when you found work here in my city.
I am sure you would get amazed when you that I have joined the swimming club.You know how frightened I am of water but my coach insisted on me until I learnt how to swim well and as you can imagine I was terrified at the beginning but with hard work and practice I did it. Also I took part in our school play and I don't need to tell you how excited I was when I win the best actor prize.
when I will meet you we will have our dinner in a new Egyptian restaurant I am sure you would love it as I know what kind of appetite you have. Then we will go to our old school to remember our memories and to shake hands with our teachers and manger. Looking forward to seeing you my beloved cousin.
Love,
Badr

 

[I.M. Knott]

Your letter is okay. Note just a few suggested changes in RED below:

It's been ages since I last wrote to you, but I was busy preparing for my final exams. Anyway, I decided to drop you a line to express my happiness because I am about to meet my dear cousin.
I miss you so much and I am dying to see you. I hope you are safe and sound. I can't believe I can see you again after 6 years studying abroad. I'm on cloud nine. I was about to jump for joy when you found work here in my city.
I am sure you would be amazed to learn that I have joined the swimming club.You know how frightened I am of water, but my coach helped me until I learnt how to swim well. As you can imagine, I was terrified at the beginning, but with hard work and practice I did it. I also took part in our school play. I don't need to tell you how excited I was when I won the best actor prize.
When I meet you, we will have our dinner in a new Egyptian restaurant. I am sure you would love it as I know what kind of appetite you have. Then we will go to our old school to renew our memories and to shake hands with our teachers and manager.
Looking forward to seeing you my beloved cousin,
Love,
Badr