formal email,is it correct ?

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schuraj

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Hi! I need to write an e-mail to some medical universities asking the entry requirements for international/saarc(South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation) students, I wrote this but I don't know if I should correct some things. I'd really appreciate any help with this. This is the e-mail:
Dear Sir or Madam,

This is to request more information about your MBBS course at _ MEDICAL COLLEGE . I am extremely interested in this course and I am anxious to apply for it in your renowned college for admission in 2014.
I am 12th grade passed student so first,I would like to inquire about qualification in particular field, is Nepal's HSEB(Higher Secondary Examination Board) one of your accepted qualification? If so,I would be grateful if you could indicate the academic entry requirement of _ MEDICAL COLLEGE for Nepali student.
Second, if accepted and enrolled ,would I be classified as an international student or as a SAARC student for fee purposes.
Thank you in advance for your attention to my request I look forward for your response.
Yours sincerely,
Schuraj
 
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5jj

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Czech Republic
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As a future applicant and one with a vested interest in your esteemed medical university, I respectfully ask that you provide me with any additional information about your MBBS course; This request is being done as a prelude to my admission in 2014.

In addition to my inquiry about the MBBS course, I ask that you avail me of any specific qualificatios nnecessary for entry into your school.
I don't think that someone applying for a university course can be said to have a vested interest in that university. 'Esteemed' seems a little over the top, and we don't in modern BrE normally 'respectfully' ask someone to provide information. The last two sentences do not appear natural at all. I would suggest:

I am extremely interested in the MB/BS coure offered by X. I would like to apply for a place on this course in 2014, but need some additional information. Could you please let me know:

1. Does Nepal's HSEB (Higher Secondary Examination Board) Certicicate satisfy your entry requirement?
2. If my application is successful, will I be classed as an international or SAARC student as regards fees?
3. Do you require any specific qualifications for entry?


Thank you.
 
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