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Thread: Better writing

  1. #1
    Sakar Kumar is offline Newbie
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    Default Better writing

    Hi ,

    I have phrased follwing pragraph for my technical writing , But i think i lack clarity and the sentence sound obscure , I have tried all calculation but couldnt come up with any better sentence . Can someone please have a look at the below para and see if it can be improved .Any helpf is appreciated :

    "The situation we discussed is the condition of equilibrium, just before time capture a frame and see the condition. The region is poured by holes, the combination and recombination happen according to the old hole concentration, so essentially the region is in non equilibrium state.
    Supposing measurement is started at time T, if the measurement is taken after some time the equilibrium is established and constant reading is observed but during a small interval the mercury constantly rises."

    Regards ,
    Sakar

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Better writing

    Quote Originally Posted by Sakar Kumar View Post
    Hi ,

    I have phrased written the following paragraph for my technical writing (no comma here) but I think I lack clarity and the sentences sound obscure. I have tried all calculation various versions but couldn't come up with any a better sentence. Can someone please have a look at the paragraph below para and see if it can be improved. Any helpf help is appreciated.

    "The situation we discussed is the condition of equilibrium, just before time capture a frame and see the condition. The region is poured by holes, the combination and recombination happen according to the old hole concentration, so essentially the region is in non equilibrium state.
    Supposing measurement is started at time T, if the measurement is taken after some time the equilibrium is established and constant reading is observed but during a small interval the mercury constantly rises."

    Regards,
    Sakar
    I'm afraid I can't make any sense of your two paragraphs. That is probably partly because I don't have the technical knowledge required to know what you are trying to say.
    However, please note the other corrections I have made to your post (in red). Concentrate on your spelling and remember that we don't put a space before a comma or a full stop, but we do put a space after them.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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