[General] essay

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Akolivand

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Jan 4, 2014
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Hi,Dear teachers
can you correct my toefl esay? i Will realy appreciate

topic :do you prefer laptop computers or desktop computer.?


my essay :
Absolutey , I prefer laptop computer.
First reason, lap top computer have small weight in comparison to desktop comp and this aspect make them to be easy to carry on.
For instance, I had a presentation for psychology class and it must be presented in front of my classmate
So,I took my presentation file on my laptop and take it to class but, desk top computers are so have that I could not carry it to class, It was very easy

Also, laptops have more options .options such as wifi, blutooth wich made it to easily transfer files and also make it easy to connect to the internet.but for these options in desk top computers you must pay more money,so it will cost you more!
For example ,last year in holiday I took a lot of pictures .and I easily transfer it through bluetooth to my finace in the airport.it eas amazing!

Finally ,lap top is more handsome, also someone may argue that desk top computers processor are more powerful than laptops .but I believe that lap tops have some beneficiary in spite of desktop comp.
For example with laptop you can do your work without using external mouse but in desktop computers u must buy a mouse.so laptops are more easy to use.
For those reasons,I think laptop computers is better than desktop one.
 

emsr2d2

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Hi, [strike]Dear teachers[/strike] Unnecessary

Can you correct my [strike]toefl[/strike] TOEFL eSsay? I will/would really appreciate it.

topic :do you prefer laptop computers or desktop computer.?


my essay :
Absolutey , I prefer laptop computer.
First reason, lap top computer have small weight in comparison to desktop comp and this aspect make them to be easy to carry on.
For instance, I had a presentation for psychology class and it must be presented in front of my classmate
So,I took my presentation file on my laptop and take it to class but, desk top computers are so have that I could not carry it to class, It was very easy

Also, laptops have more options .options such as wifi, blutooth wich made it to easily transfer files and also make it easy to connect to the internet.but for these options in desk top computers you must pay more money,so it will cost you more!
For example ,last year in holiday I took a lot of pictures .and I easily transfer it through bluetooth to my finace in the airport.it eas amazing!

Finally ,lap top is more handsome, also someone may argue that desk top computers processor are more powerful than laptops .but I believe that lap tops have some beneficiary in spite of desktop comp.
For example with laptop you can do your work without using external mouse but in desktop computers u must buy a mouse.so laptops are more easy to use.
For those reasons,I think laptop computers is better than desktop one.

Note my corrections to the first three sentences of your post.

When will you submit this essay to your teacher/tutor?
 
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