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  1. #1
    Sporadic is offline Newbie
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    Question Personal profile

    Hello!

    Would greatly appreciate any feedback from native speakers on my Summary section of social network profile.

    --------------------------------------
    I'm a Project Manager with more than 10 years experience in Project Management and over 15 years working experience in Telecom industry. I've worn many hats in my career and I know how things are done at various organizational levels.


    Have you ever been delivering complex technical projects without facing any impediments, glitches, mishaps? I bet you haven't. Neither have I. I came across some of them when I had been helping my company's client, the nation’s leading mobile operator, to deploy IP network across hundreds of cities and towns. Thus we have enabled the client to launch a new business and become country’s No. 1 service provider.

    In recent years, I've managed a broad range of technical projects of different size and complexity and I've learned some lessons which I'm ready to share.
    --------------------------------------

    Thanks in advance!

    Cheers

  2. #2
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Personal profile

    Quote Originally Posted by Sporadic View Post
    Hello!

    Would greatly appreciate any feedback from native speakers on my Summary section of social network profile.

    --------------------------------------
    I'm a Project Manager with more than 10 years' experience in Project Management and over 15 years​' working experience in Telecom the telecommunications industry. I've worn many hats in my career and I know how things are done at various organizational levels.


    Have you ever been delivering delivered complex technical projects without facing any impediments, glitches, mishaps? I bet you haven't. Neither have I. I came across some of them when I had been while helping my company's client, the nation’s leading mobile operator, to deploy an IP network (or "IP networks" depending on which is appropriate) across hundreds of cities and towns. Thus, we have enabled the client to launch a new business and become country’s No. 1 service provider.

    In recent years, I've managed a broad range of technical projects of different sizes and complexities and I've learned some important lessons which I'm ready to share.
    --------------------------------------

    Thanks in advance!

    Cheers
    Welcome to the forum.

    My suggested amendments are above in red. Please note that I have only proofread it, giving basic changes to the grammar etc, but I have not edited it (ie I have not changed the content).
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

  3. #3
    Sporadic is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Personal profile

    Hi emsr2d2,

    Thanks for helping me out with this!

    May I ask you to comment on
    Have you ever been deliveringdelivered complex technical projects
    ? Was I completely wrong when used PPC considering the context?

    I wasn't really sure if it is appropriate to ask for something more than grammar checks here. So, suggestions on style and wording, if any, are welcome ;)

  4. #4
    PeterValk is offline Member
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    Default Re: Personal profile

    "I would greatly appreciate any feedback"
    "and become the country’s No.1 service provider"

    Peter
    (I'm not a teacher or a native English speaker. I'm just trying to help...)

  5. #5
    Sporadic is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: Personal profile

    Peter, thanks!

  6. #6
    PeterValk is offline Member
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    Default Re: Personal profile

    Пожалуйста!

    Again, I'm not a teacher or a native English speaker.
    But here's another:

    "I would greatly appreciate any feedback from native speakers on the Summary section of my social network profile."

    That sounds better.
    Many foreigners keep forgetting to use articles in English or use them where they're not needed, because they don't have them in their own language, like Russian.
    Articles are small words, but important ones!

    And yes, you were wrong to use the Present Past Continuous, because we are looking at a fact that has been done, not the action of delivering.
    "I have been delivering" means: over a certain period of time, probably several times. You are looking at a process (continuous)
    "I have delivered" means: you're looking at the fact of delivering.

    As I said, I'm not a teacher, so I can only hope that you understand what I wrote.
    Perhaps there are other, more qualified people here to explain this more adequately.
    Peter
    (I'm not a teacher or a native English speaker. I'm just trying to help...)

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