Hi I'm Anna from Italy and I am trying to improve my english, especially in IELTS writing task. I'm trying to get a band score higher than 7. Could someone please have a look at my homework?
Thank you in advance Anna
Here below my assignment:
We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in businesses, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more auspicious of their benefits?
Nowadays we could think about a sort of an “addiction” to the use of computers especially if we think of their usage associated with internet connection.
We must research the reasons of the massive use of computer and in general of technology into the immediate access to information, people and service systems. In fact, we use it in business for e-mail exchanges, bank payments and flight ticket bookings. We can even see doctors take clinic notes about patients on their own tablets.
Thanks to computers and all the computer science, our life became considerably easier, for example we don’t have to wait long queues just to pay for electricity or gas bills or even to pay our rent. In support of this, today a wide range of banks offers specific online services at even lower costs if we compare those with the old standard services.
We could find loads of examples about what the future could be: android robots that could complete some tasks that humans do in everyday life. In the future we could imagine computerized domestics or waiters. That would be really helpful especially for old people with health problems.
However, there is a concern in regards to the dependence of people from computers and technology in general that could be really difficult to understand how could be existence without using it. Can anyone imagine the disaster on the bill’s expiring date and no payments are allowed due to the bank system problems? Visualize long queues, thousands of papers and receipts and a really slow service in order to handle each customer’s request.
We could definitely say that every kind of dependence is never a good thing. However, we could not force to stop the growing of progress but we might be always in the position of controlling technology and not the contrary.
In my opinion, it is very important to support the use of the computers where we could see, in evidence, a real need such as in medicine area. On the other hand, we should be more suspicious in other situations where computers are not so important in order to avoid the total dependency on them.
Last edited by 9178angel; 16-Jan-2014 at 15:50.
Nobody wants? just a little check because I don't have nothing to compare my assay, just a measure. Just to understand if I'm going on the good direction I don't want a precise band score, just a range in order to have a clue about it.
Thank you very much