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  1. #1
    ganjinasrin is offline Newbie
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    Default The Chrysalids Short Story

    Hello :)
    I had a writing assignment. I was given a list of vocabulary lists and told to use them to write a story, summary, or personal observation about the book The Chrysalids by John Wyndham. I have wrote part of the story from a character's point of view and I think I did a pretty good job and I personally really like it. I need your opinions :)

    David's POV:


    The day my aunt Harriet came to visit a while after her baby was born, my mother's greeting tone was filled with reproof about aunt Harriet bringing the newborn baby all this way to our house.
    When aunt Harriet told my mother she came here to see if they could switch children until aunt Harriet gets a certificate for her baby, my mom's effrontery was more pitiful than ridiculous. My mom had lost children in the past because they weren't perfect or as my dad would put it, because they were blasphemies.
    That's why when she got mad at her sister and yelled at her, her anger seemed pretense. I knew that deep down she knew how my aunt felt.
    My father got really mad at aunt Harriet. Blasphemies were abomination to him. I knew he would never agree with this idea and I was right because he didn't and so, aunt Harriet started leaving.
    My father was not a man to leave his attitude in doubt. Before aunt Harriet left, he told her that she should feel guilty and ashamed because she has sinned and that she should pray for God's forgiveness.
    She started heading for the door. Before she left, she said: " Yes, I shall pray. I shall pray God to send charity into this hideous world, sympathy for the weak, and love for the unhappy and unfortunate. I shall ask Him, too, that the hearts of the self-righteous may be broken..."
    Then she left. After she was finally gone, my father said aunt Harriet was guilty of heresy but i thought differently. I thought aunt Harriet was a model of rectitude.
    I didn't dare say a word about the lugubrious conversation I just overheard. What made the whole situation more lugubrious was the news they broke to me the day after. They told me aunt Harriet's body had been found in the river; but no one mentioned a baby...

  2. #2
    MikeNewYork's Avatar
    MikeNewYork is offline VIP Member
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    Default Re: The Chrysalids Short Story

    Quote Originally Posted by ganjinasrin View Post
    Hello :)
    I had a writing assignment. I was given a list of vocabulary lists and told to use them to write a story, summary, or personal observation about the book The Chrysalids by John Wyndham. I have wrote part of the story from a character's point of view and I think I did a pretty good job and I personally really like it. I need your opinions :)

    David's POV:


    The day my aunt Harriet came to visit a while after her baby was born, my mother's greeting tone was filled with reproof about aunt Harriet bringing the newborn baby all this way to our house.
    When aunt Harriet told my mother she came here to see if they could switch children until aunt Harriet gets a certificate for her baby, my mom's effrontery was more pitiful than ridiculous. My mom had lost children in the past because they weren't perfect or as my dad would put it, because they were blasphemies.
    That's why when she got mad at her sister and yelled at her, her anger seemed pretense. I knew that deep down she knew how my aunt felt.
    My father got really mad at aunt Harriet. Blasphemies were abomination to him. I knew he would never agree with this idea and I was right because he didn't and so, aunt Harriet started leaving.
    My father was not a man to leave his attitude in doubt. Before aunt Harriet left, he told her that she should feel guilty and ashamed because she has sinned and that she should pray for God's forgiveness.
    She started heading for the door. Before she left, she said: " Yes, I shall pray. I shall pray God to send charity into this hideous world, sympathy for the weak, and love for the unhappy and unfortunate. I shall ask Him, too, that the hearts of the self-righteous may be broken..."
    Then she left. After she was finally gone, my father said aunt Harriet was guilty of heresy but i thought differently. I thought aunt Harriet was a model of rectitude.
    I didn't dare say a word about the lugubrious conversation I just overheard. What made the whole situation more lugubrious was the news they broke to me the day after. They told me aunt Harriet's body had been found in the river; but no one mentioned a baby...
    It is our policy not to help with assignments.

  3. #3
    ganjinasrin is offline Newbie
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    Default Re: The Chrysalids Short Story

    Quote Originally Posted by MikeNewYork View Post
    It is our policy not to help with assignments.
    Oh well I already handed it in and in your policies about you not helping with assignments, I thought you meant that you can't write it for us. I didn't know it meant that I can't get opinions. Sorry (:

  4. #4
    emsr2d2's Avatar
    emsr2d2 is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: The Chrysalids Short Story

    I have moved your thread to the "Editing and Writing Topics" section which is more appropriate. We are happy to give our opinion. Our rule on not helping with homework or assignments means that we don't make corrections, amendments or suggestions before a piece is submitted. Once it has been submitted, you can ask for our opinion but I recommend that you wait until you get it back from your teacher so you can read his/her comments first. After that, feel free to come to us for more information.
    Remember - correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing make posts much easier to read.

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