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  1. #1
    JEONGHOON YOON is offline Newbie
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    Default hlep me make business email formal

    I have been tried to write business email formally.
    It is too hard to express...

    so plz fix this!! help me


    We are writing about the shipment due 7th April(arrival) from your order 325504.
    We regret to inform you that we had to reschedul the shipment due to our limited production time. Unfortunately, we do not have any stock at the momnent.
    Our detailed schedule is attached for your information. Please check and let us know whether you can maintain your production line with our schedule.

    In addition, we would like to remain you of our process for next new order.
    We determine production plan for the next month in the 25th of evey month. It is also necessary to have enough production time and delivery time.
    Our pocess for new order is as follows.

    By February 25 (25th day of each month) Making production plan of march
    In March Production
    In April Shipment
    In May Arrival

    All condition considered, it takes appoximately 90 days for new order.
    Therefore, it would be better to place new order before 90 days, so then we are able to handle it better on your schedule.

    If you need more information, please feel free to contact us.

    Thank you in advance for your cooperation.


    how about that?

  2. #2
    Barb_D's Avatar
    Barb_D is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: hlep me make business email formal

    Welcome to the forums.

    Before I help you, it's important to understand this: At the time the customer placed the order, did you (the supplier) agree to/comiit to the April 7 date? What IS the new arrival date? WHY don't you have the stock you need? Was this an extra order that was not part of your original monthly plan?


    You are combining two ideas in this email when you need to focus on one important point: You will not make the shipment date your customer is expecting. Your lack of stock is YOUR problem, not related to your regular production schedule.

    I don't understand your "In March" "In April" "In May" chart. Your production time is 30 days and it take 30 days of transit time? Arrival is instantaneous - it does not take 30 days for something to arrive.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

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