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Thread: make it simple

  1. #1
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    make it simple

    can anyone help and make this essay simple and easy to read and undrestand

    and without diffclte word ..and short
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    Who needs money in his everyday life? We encounter the need for money almost everywhere, from shopping to eating at stalls and even to the basic needs. We feel contented if these needs are satisfiably met, however, if not, this can cause worry which leads to unhappy lifestyle. It is somehow true what our parents used to teach us that money can't buy happiness because it cannot be literally bought. Of course it cannot. Nevertheless, everyday we are being bought with money from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. If you don't have such resources, how then can you survive and will you be happy with it?

    Morally speaking, money can't buy happiness because of the implications towards us that our happiness should not depend on material things. But reality check, it is true that money can buy happiness and psychological studies has proven the theory.

    Although it depends on your own the definition of money and happiness. Imagine that you wake up to go to school and ask your Mom to give you allowance, then she says "No!". Does it make you happy to hear that from her?
    All of us are working to provide for our needs and it is frustrating to think that you wake up in the morning with no food in the table.

    There is no need for a study to know that wealthy people can afford more merry-makings because their money allows them to afford such activities.

    Rich people tend to be ambitious, optimistic and goal oriented while poor people are struggling to inconsistent depression and self pity.

    We are living in a day to day basis for survival and we are affected materially so as to say that money indeed has that influence in this material world. Almost what you have from your head to toe requires a minimum amount of money,
    . For this, we must take account of the importance of money in fulfilling that dream that somehow has brought your life changes and makes it a lot happier.

    --------------------------------

    :(

  2. #2
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    Re: make it simple

    Quote Originally Posted by LoRalay
    can anyone help and make this essay simple and easy to read and undrestand
    and without diffclte word ..and short
    ____________________
    Who needs money in his everyday life? We encounter the need for money almost everywhere, from shopping to eating at stalls and even to the basic needs. We feel contented if these needs are satisfiably met, however, if not, this can cause worry which leads to unhappy lifestyle. It is somehow true what our parents used to teach us that money can't buy happiness because it cannot be literally bought. Of course it cannot. Nevertheless, everyday we are being bought with money from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. If you don't have such resources, how then can you survive and will you be happy with it?
    --------------------------------
    :(
    I won't critique the entire article, but I'll say that this first bit is unnecessarily wordy. It seems like some of your ideas are repeated; maybe it could probably be cut down a bit:

    Who doesn't need money to meet the needs of everyday life? Whether it's for the necessities, such as food and shelter, or the so-called luxury items, money has the capacity to make us feel content and secure. So how does one survive without sufficient financial resources? Were Mom and Dad wrong - can money buy happiness after all?

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