[Essay] Can a teacher rate my IELTS writing please?

[Hopefulness]

Hello dear teachers. I am preparing for IELTS test. I answered a writing test in my way. However there are a lot of different answers on the net. But I need to know if I have a true understanding of the language and gain enough confidence for the test. I would be pleased if a teacher rates it for me and tells me about the errors.
Thank you.

Question: You have a penfriend living in another country and he/she is curious to know about the major news items in your country. Briefly describe ONE news story that has been on TV, on the radio, or in the newspapers in your country, and explain why people are interested in it.

My Answer:
Dear Matilda,
I hope all is well with you and we can meet each other one day. It’s always a pleasure for me to write you back. You expressed the desire to know about the major news items in my country. I chose the most important of them for you.
The presidential election will be held on June 14 in my country. Almost every TV channel and radio station is talking about it these days. The competition is between six candidates. Current president actions have led the country into international economic sanctions and isolation, which cost us the value of our currency. We have experienced the highest growth in inflation during his presidency since the beginning of the regime. People don’t have faith in the elections because the Guardian Council of Constitution -- a group of six clerics and six lawyers operating under the oversight of the supreme leader -- decides about qualification of registered candidates. But people also don’t want someone like the current president to run for the office. So this is choosing between bad and worse. There’s still a little hope left to repair the issues in the long term by choosing a reform-minded or a moderate candidate.
Let me know if you ever need to know about anything else. I am also interested about major news items in your country.
Best wishes,
John Smith

 

[doteyescrossts]

Band 6

Competent user

has generally effective command of the language despite some inaccuracies, inappropriacies and misunderstandings. Can use and understand fairly complex language, particularly in familiar situations.

 

[Hopefulness]

Dear "doteyescrossts",
Thank you for taking the time to rate the writing, but would you please also tell me about the errors or on what basis this writing should be put on Band 6?
Thank you.

 

[doteyescrossts]

I don't work for IELTS, so the score I awarded you is merely my opinion. That being said, I used the band descriptors from their website to assess your writing.

Examiners award a band score for each of four criterion areas: Task Achievement (for Task 1), Task Response (for Task 2), Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammatical Range and Accuracy. The four criteria are equally weighted.

Writing Task 1 Band Descriptors

Writing Task 2 Band Descriptors