[Essay] Another motivational letter

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Vita Pacino

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2014
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Belarus
Current Location
Cyprus
I would be delighted if you could check my motivational letter. is it too informal? too many mistakes??

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to apply for the Bachelor‘s Degree program in Psychology at the University of *** **** in *** for autumn 2014.
As you might know, it is my second year of studying in university, so I feel determined about the sphere I had chosen to be part of. Psychology in all its branches and varieties is one of the fast developing sciences which amaze me with its discoveries. I hope I will have an opportunity to contribute to it as well. There are many reasons why this particular science attracts me and here are some of them:
I like human’s mind. It fascinates me with its complexity and varieties. I had an opportunity to take Cognitive Psychology and I fell in love with it after the first hour of the lecture. The complexity of the brain, communication of neurons and the way it works and complements each other, astonish me. I was considering to do Master degree in this sphere as well.
I like to observe people and their behaviour. It was one of the reasons for me to be an assistant in *** Summer Camp. I was helping to look after children who came to learn English language and have fun with their friends. I had a fortune to try some methods and techniques to regulate and control their behaviour.
I like to think that I tend to analyze, think critically and reason. My father’s life inspires me to never stop learning. He did not finish his undergraduate program, nevertheless I consider him as the most intelligent and wise(?) person. Despite of his success, he never stopped learning and being curious about the world we live in. He always encourages me to think critically, do not judge or create biases and prejudges towards anything.
The world has many mysteries, and one of the biggest mysteries is the human’s mind. The scientists who study biology, chemistry, physics, mathematics, astronomy and other sciences are the heroes of the 21[SUP]st[/SUP] century. They uncover the mysteries of the Universe and of the world around and within us. I would love to be one of them.
I'm afraid that the university in which I'm currently studying cannot give me a chance to realize my dreams in the future. I'm pursuing a better environment for studying and better quality of education. For my sorrow, it cannot be done here.
I believe that teachers and professors have a great impact on their students. When a lecturer is not passionate about his/her subject, it demotivates students and make them unwilling to study.
I believe that studying in ***** is an essential part of my life. It made me responsible, more mature and organised. I have met many different and interesting people and I will miss them very much. But I feel that I’m ready for another step. For more professional, exciting and interesting life where I will study in the University of *** **** in *****.
 

Vita Pacino

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2014
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Belarus
Current Location
Cyprus
Please, can anyone check it? I have to submit it tomorrow. :/
 
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