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  1. #1
    Tetsuo is offline Junior Member
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    Default Website's content

    Would like to know whether anyone owns the will to read my website.

    And may tell me via this thread what's wrong or should I post it here?

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: Website's content

    Please be patient while all the other things are in the making.

  3. #3
    Tetsuo is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Website's content

    Here're some poems of my own and would like to know whether they are right or not, it would be amazing if you can write down a reason why that's wrong.

    ------------------------------------
    sweet home, salt lake

    in deepest despair
    the last help is
    cut the last liana
    and fall down

    say goodbye to everyone
    hope everything is done
    hope that no one will
    be hurt
    say goodbye to everyone
    hope everything is done
    hope that no one will
    miss me

    i'm not the bravest man
    to face all my fears
    to solve my problems
    as it best

    mostly the fear throw me
    into the darkest valley
    to tear my soul apart
    and taste the bitterness
    of the tear's salt

    that's nothing i like to do
    but i dont know to solve it

    sorry i don't want to hurt you !
    sorry that i'm not the so brave !
    hope you forgive all my bad
    words i said and the thing
    which hurting you most !
    please forgive me !
    ---------------------------------------

    say "goodbye" cruel world

    do you ever feel pain
    which drives you insane
    the biggest loss
    very very gross
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never stop to cry

    emotions break like glass
    when memories crushing back
    I never want to be crass
    I really need coming to my track
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never forget to say goodbye
    I never stop to cry

    I will never surrender
    I will never hurt anyone I love
    I really like to be tender
    with hurt hurting you with a knife's shove
    I never forget you
    I never forget you
    I never forget you
    I paid my due

    When I die I will do it with my hands untied
    My body so dry because every tear is cried
    When I die I will do it with my hands untied
    But soon I'm not tired

    -------------------------------------

    he dead saviour, my hero

    where are you ?
    have we ever met us ?
    have you ever saw me ?
    did you take care of me ?
    why I must solve my problems alone ?
    arenīt you the good man
    you pretend to me ?


    did you ever feel the pain I felt ?
    did you ever feel helpless like me ?


    the dark hold of the pain
    wonīt let me go !
    the darkness eat me alive !
    but until this will happen,
    the darkness will agonize me !
    please give me your hand
    to help me out of the dark see I swim in !


    help me out !
    Iīm going under !
    give me your hand !
    P L E A S E !
    -----------------------------------

    untitled 3

    tears of darkness
    eternal sadness
    summarized the pain
    it drives me insane
    pick my eyes out
    my heart yearns loud

    -------------------------------

    Thanks for helping me out.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Website's content

    I don't think it's important for poetry to be grammatically correct. In fact, poetry is often about breaking the rules of grammar to acheive a desired effect -- this is what we call "poetic licence". So I don't think it's actually possible to say whether your poems are "correct" -- it's far too subjective for that.

  5. #5
    Tetsuo is offline Junior Member
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    Default Re: Website's content

    What's about the past, present etc. ? Someone told me that's something incorrect in one or more poems.

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