[General] In your opinion, can I improve this statement introduction?

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mirko94bari

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In your opinion, can I improve this statement introduction?

Before converting to Buddhism in 2011, I have always been fascinated by eastern Asia and its languages. My passion for english flourished throughout my education but never as fervent as Chinese and Thai. Even though my previous studies did not relate to them at all, thanks to my school and my english teacher I passed an intercultural exchange program contest in Thailand that brought me to discover my interest for Thai language.

Thank you :)
 

I.M. Knott

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Jan 22, 2013
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American English
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United States
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Suggested changes in RED:
I had always been fascinated by eastern Asia and its languages
but never as fervently as for Chinese and Thai
E
nglish
Even though my previous studies did not relate to them at all, [Delete this phrase]
English
Thanks
English
teacher, [add comma]
for the Thai language
 
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