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Thread: crime1

  1. #1
    Lenka is offline Senior Member
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    Default crime1

    Hi ,
    could you correct the text below, please? It's just a part of my homework, but I haven't written it all yet ... Anyway, it seems to me to be quite long (I wonder whether my teacher really wanted me to write such long texts...).



    CRIME

    ARSON
    = if you put someone’s house on fire, you have commited arson

    Some people are disordered and like to see fire and the result is the fact they may put other people’s houses on fire etc. Another, but totally different example is someone who set other people’s possesion on fire on purpose (the purpose might be hate, revenge, envy etc.).

    Resolution according to my own opinion:
    I’d send the disordered people to the asylum and wouldn’t punish them that much. However, it’s really probably quite difficult to decided whether the appropriate person is or isn’t disordered.


    BANK ROBBERY
    = breaking to and stealing money from a financial institution

    Someone who has lack of money or longs for more money has many ways how to reach his/her life‘s dream. There are many ways how to manage it, and of one them is a bank robbery. It can be said it’s very easy as we can watch this almost in every all-action movies, and it seems to be not so difficult to steal some money… But I believe it is. The one who stole some money must remorse it at least a little. And even if the person doesn’t remorse it, he or she is certainly afarid of being caught and arrested by the police.
    The psyche and sanity of the people who commit such a delict must be really in bad state.
    However, some people may seek it because of the adrenalin – some do it just for fun.
    It usually happens in this way: a man wearing a balaclava comes to a bank and demands some money (threatening with his gun or some kind of weapon, kidnap of someone etc.).
    Anyway, there are more cases of how to steal some money from a bank…

    I’d sent all these people to prison (which is quite clear I think – everyone would do it, in my opinion), however, it’s very difficult to say for how long time. These crime questions aren¨t really easy to answer and I am not that clever (not yet ;)…) to answer them neither.


    BRIBERY
    = the act of giving money or presents to people in power

    It’s a subset of corruption and it happens (in my opinion) every day in my country. I can’t say it’s also so frequent in other countries, but according to my experiences I guess it’s just everywhere. And noone can say:“Oh, an underdevelopped country – much more bribery than in the developed economies of wealthy countries.“. This isn’t the truth in my opinion. Perhaps, it doesn’t depend on the economical systém of each country, but on the political systém or the people’s culture and morale.

    I really hate this sort of crime as you can see (in your daily life) it’s all around you. Universities accept people who shouldn’t be accepted, people with many acquaintances have surely better lives than the others. But it’s just a short demonstration of bribery.
    It’s very difficult to prove this crime, and that is why those who commit it aren’t usually even punished.


    BIGAMY
    = if you are married to two people at the same time, it is a bigamy

    It is unlawful to be married to more people at the same time. I think you can’t do that just in one country, as if you at least tried it, you would see you wouldn’t be wedded. But if you marry a women in the Czech Republic and another one in other state, they won’t find it out (at least not that quickly).

    I am a woman (girl), and I think bigamy should be punished. However, if I were a man, I wouldn’t mind bigamy at all…
    It’s clear I don’t consider bigamy so great crime act as I do murder. It means I wouldn’t punish it so much.

  2. #2
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: crime1

    if you put someone’s house on fire- set
    commited- tt
    possesion- possessions
    Also, what about arson for insurance fraud?
    breaking to- into
    who has lack of money - who lacks money
    There are many ways how to manage - delete 'how'
    it seems to be not so difficult- I'd use 'doesn't seem to be'
    The one- the person who has stolen
    doesn’t remorse it- doesn't regret it or doesn't feel remorse
    such a delict- crime (but is this true- I can see the logic behind their actions- it's wrong, but it's far from mad to me)
    Anyway, there are more cases of how to steal some money from a bank…- bland sentence
    I'd sent- send
    underdevelopped- p
    it is a bigamy- no article
    you wouldn’t be wedded- couldn't get married (and this isn't true for all countries)
    so great crime act- so great a crime

  3. #3
    Lenka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: crime1

    Thank you very much, tdol... I appreciate you spend your time on such things as correcting my mistakes


    Quote Originally Posted by tdol
    1)
    such a delict- crime (but is this true- I can see the logic behind their actions- it's wrong, but it's far from mad to me)

    2)Anyway, there are more cases of how to steal some money from a bank…- bland sentence
    ad 1) I didn't mean they are mad and their madness forces them to do it. I meant that those who commit such a crime (probably) must suffer (at least a little, in my opinion), after they comit it, from depressions and must surely be afraid of being caught.

    ad2) do you mean I should delete the whole sentence as it sounds stylistically weird?

  4. #4
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: crime1

    1- OK
    2- I'd remove it as it doesn't add much to the picture.

  5. #5
    Lenka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: crime1

    And here is "part two".... can you correct it again?


    BLACKMAIL
    = the act of forcing someone to do something by threatening to make known a secret of theirs

    E.g. A man has a young other woman and doesn’t want his wife to know about it. Some others, who know his secret, may blackmail him – they can threaten him to tell the secret his wife, if the man doesn’t do something – usually if he doen’t give the blackmailer some money.




    BURGLARY
    = is a crime related to theft. It typically involves someone breaking into a house with an intent to commit a crime.

    If you break into someone house or office (as a trespasser), you you are a burglar. It’s, in my opinion, one of the most typical crimes that happens everyday and quite frequently.



    FRAUD
    = a deception made for personal gain

    Many people are deceived by travel agents, who want their customers to pay the advance on their tours beforehand. You can never be sure that the travel agency won’t deceive you. They can keep your money and never give it back to you.



    DEATH PENALTY
    = capital punishment; governmental execution as punishment for a crime often called a capital offense or a capital crime

    In my opinion, this punishment isn’t proper for any criminal – even the worst one. You can¨t be sure the accused is really te one who committed the crime, so if you kill him, you can never revive him again. There has been many cases of people who were jailed or imprison without any reason – they were innocent, but nobody believed them.
    Anyway, the person perhaps really might gradually change his or her mind and redeem him/herself. However, I don’t believe it that much…but it is possible.
    There is no death penalty in the Czech Republic and I believe it is right.



    HIJACKING
    = violent taking control of an aircraft or other vehicle during its journey

    Nowadays, the term is widely associated with terrorism. I think this crime isn’t committed too often.



    KIDNAP
    (a word derived from kid = 'child' and nap(nab) = 'snatch', recorded since 1673, originally meant stealing children for use as servants or laborers in the American colonies)
    = illegal capture or detention of persons against their will, regardless of age, as for ransom

    We can‘t see this sort of crime in the CZ almost not at all.
    This usually happens only in US movies… Someone kidnaps usually a child (son or daughter), or any other beloved member of someone other’s family and can blackmail the others.
    Or, a young woman or a girl is kidnapped for prostitution and so on.



    MANSLAUGHTER
    = crime of killing a person without intention to do so



    MUGGING
    = attack, especially with an intent to rob

    For instance, you go down the street and suddenly someone rips your bag, wallet etc. off and steals it. The one who committed it is accused og mugging, then.



    MURDER
    = unlawful premeditated killing of one person by another

    This is one of the most wide-spread crimes. It has always happened – poisioning, strangling, shooting and many other means of how to commit a murder – and humans will, most likely, always struggle with this crime.



    RAPE
    = a crime of forcing somebody into sexual activity, against his or her will through use of physical force or threat of injury

    The ones who are raped are (always) women, as you one can’t rape a man. It’s quite clear. Some people may think that this crime is gradually being committed more and more, nowadays, but in my own opinion, it isn’t the truth. Perhaps, women aren’t that afraid of telling the police they were raped. However, there are still many raped women who will never come to the police. It is quite sad and very unfair. This way they allow the raper to rape other women.



    SHOPLIFTING
    = retail theft; atheft of goods from a shop by someone pretending to be a customer

    It is one of the most common crimes that police and the courts deal with. Most shoplifters are amateurs; however, there are people and groups who make their living from shoplifting, and they tend to be more skilled.
    Nevertheless, if you shoplift something in a shop (something not too expensive), you are accused just of a petty crime and you aren’t arrested.



    SPEEDING
    (A speed limit is the maximum speed allowed by law for vehicles on a road)
    = driving too fast

    Some people committ this crime just for fun – they just like driving too fast, they like the adrenalin. Nonetheless, they should also have regard for others, who’d like to drive safely. It is very unsafe to drive fast and in the CZ, an amendment on this topic was brought out and there are some new punishments (more expensive) – valid from 1st July



    SMUGGLING
    = illegal transport, in particular across a border. Taxes are avoided; or the goods themselves are illegal; or people are transported to a place where they are not allowed to be



    TREASON
    = you commit it, if you help enemies of your country



    VANDALISM
    = intentional damaging of property belonging to other people

    I hate vandalism. Graffiti is “very popular” nowadays and those vandals “beautify” really everything what comes in their way. I don’t really understand what is so great about it; actually, I guess they want to increase their self-defence in this way, show they are “something exceptional”, they just want to show off.

  6. #6
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: crime1

    a young other woman - has a mistress
    the blackmailer- in the context, this should be plural as you used 'others'
    you you are a burglar- you you you you
    It’s, in my opinion,- with the phrase coming after it, thissounds weird- use 'It is. Also, I wouldn't use contractions in any writing like this
    pay the advance on their tours beforehand- pay in advance for their tours (also, aren't you being a bit heavy on travel agents? There are many other sorts of fraud, often much more serious)
    jailed or imprison- imprisoned
    Should the death penalty part be here- it's a punishment not a crime
    almost not at all- unfortunate phrasing
    the raper- rapist Also, it is not true that you cannot rape a man
    raped women- rape victims
    committ- spelling
    new punishments (more expensive)- expensive doesn't work here- it's not the punishment that is expenisve, but the fine

  7. #7
    Lenka is offline Senior Member
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    Default Re: crime1

    Thank you very much, indeed... However... these are all the mistakes I did? It seems a little weird to me .

    As to the death penalty, I know it isn't a sort of a crime and it shouldn't be contained in the "essay" (can I call it an essay?), but our teacher gave us a list of terms (which contained also "death penalty), about which we had to write a little. I wouldn't mention it, if I didn't have to...

    Well, you're probably right - I know there are much more bigger and much more relevant frauds in the world, but the travel agencies were the first eample that came into my mind. I don't know why, actually (I've never been deceived by a travel agency). Anyway, I think my teacher won't mind it - she just wanted us to write "some" example (not just the most frequent one or the most relevant one)

    Thank you very much (I hope you don't mind correcting it for me as it's my homework for school, actually... Anyway, I had to hand the essay to my teacher today, so I can't correct all of my mistakes. Nonetheless, I always put my essays for correction in here, not bacuse I want to hand it without mistakes - but because I believe more native English speakers...)

  8. #8
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Default Re: crime1

    Ok, if you were given the term, then that's fine.

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