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Thread: Plz help me out

  1. #1
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Plz help me out

    Hi There. I am a new member of this group and i want help from you that how to reproduce the following paragraph in formal writing using style and register:
    " Dear Pat,
    Sorry we screwed up that order. Sending plants across country is a risky business. Some of them just can't take the strain. Some dys I can't take the strain myself!. We'll send you some more plants sometime next week and we'll credit your account for $372."
    (Scene: Your nursery sells plants not only in your store but also by mail order. Roday you've received a letter from Pat Sykes, complaining that the plants(in a $572 order) did not arrive in a satisfactory condition)

    This is it. Plz help me and rewrite the above paragraph in formal english.
    thnx a lot
    Ma-roof

  2. #2
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Default Re: Plz help me out

    Quote Originally Posted by Maroof
    "Dear Pat,
    Sorry we screwed up that order. Sending plants across country is a risky business. Some of them just can't take the strain. Some dys I can't take the strain myself!. We'll send you some more plants sometime next week and we'll credit your account for $372."
    Try:
    • I am sorry to hear that some of the plants we shipped you arrived in unsatisfactory condition. We will be sending replacements for the damaged plants within a week. We will also credit your account for $372. Thank you for your business.

    What do you think?

    :)

  3. #3
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    I'd say 'in an unsatifactory condition'. Maybe it's a BE thing, though.

  4. #4
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    Default

    From a Google search:
    • "in unsatisfactory condition" = 737
      "in an unsatisfactory condition" 764


    Either one would be okay with me, and I'm sure the customer wouldn't care either.

    :wink:

  5. #5
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    UK pages:
    with 'an' 222
    without 35

    Maybe it is a BE thing, then.

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