[Essay] I want you to correct my mistakes in this essay

[perouli]

Some people think that journalism is the most useful profession nowadays. Do you agree or disagree
with this opinion? State your opinion and support it with reasons and examples.

There are lots of professions in the world. when we choose it , we think about its advantages and necessarities. some professions are very useful for society, such as doctor , teacher and so on. some people think that journalism is also useful profession. I agree with them and now i will try to support my opinion with proper arguments.
First of all, TV is a part of our life. Everyday we listen and watch it to get some infromation what happens on the world. People who care about it are journalists. when something important happens , they are always exactly in this place where it happened.So they are hard-working persons and they inform us in every minute.
Furthermore, journalism is dangerous profession. I remember when they were obliged to go and record video from the war place. It helped other people to know what happened and to be ready for everything. so it proves that journalism is the most useful profession nowadays.
In conclusion, Journalism is the profession ,what is used in every minute in our life.we can plan our day from the information they gave us . So it is really the most useful profession.

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello, Perouli:

You have written a very interesting paragraph.

I only wanted to make a few suggestions:

1. Please remember that in English, we ALWAYS capitalize the word "I." It does not matter if it starts a sentence or if it is in a sentence.

2. Please remember that "teacher" and "doctor" are not professions. A teacher belongs to the profession of education, and a doctor belongs to the profession of medicine.

3. Please remember that TV is not the only place where journalists work. You may wish to use the word "media" in your paragraph. The media include newspapers, magazines, television, the Internet, etc.

4. Please remember that writing teachers tell us not to write words such as "Now I will try to support my opinion." Just support your opinion, but don't tell your readers that you are going to do it. And when you conclude, don't tell your readers that you are going to conclude.



James

 

[perouli]

Thank you James, I will foresee your remarks.

 

[emsr2d2]

Thank you James, I will [strike]foresee[/strike] note/remember your remarks.

Please see my amendment above. I don't think you have understood the definition of "foresee" correctly.

Also, please note that there is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you". Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find useful. It saves us all time.