Kindly check my SOP

[pranavvemula]

Hello, I am Pranav. I am posting my SOP here. I would be grateful if anyone could check and correct it. Thank you in advnace.
Here is my SOP.
‘It is not just a statement of purpose – it is a quest to realize my passion for
Alzheimer’s research’
I determined to pursue a PhD in neurodegenerative disease, specifically Alzheimer’s disease, during the final year of studies for my bachelor’s degree. To that end, I pursued a master's with the Department of Pharmacology, my thesis on Alzheimer’s disease; and my goal now is to seek PhD on Alzheimer’s disease at the molecular level, also its pharmacological treatment and ultimately to make a contribution in combating the disease.
With the perpetual interest towards working on AD, I pursued Masters in the department of Pharmacology. I carried out my thesis work on the behavioral aspects of AD using Zebra fish. I was always interested to learn a new animal model and for that reason I decided to work on zebra fish model. I did my project in our college which gave a great insight into the research methodology beginning from the literature survey to the write-up of results. I worked on the assessment of memory enhancing activity using Ocimum sanctum leaves aqueous extract using two behavioral tests, inhibitory avoidance test (IAT) and color biased appetite conditioning T-maze. I noticed that the test drug treated animals showed hindrance to enter the dark chamber (Where shock treatment was given during training session) in the test session in IAT and in T-maze, the animals entered food containing green chamber and also had less total number of entries which indicated the enhancement of memory in the animals treated with the test drug when compared to control group.
During under graduation, as a part of course curriculum I learnt molecular biology techniques like Gel electrophoresis, ELISA, bacterial culture, western blotting. During my post-graduation, I handled different laboratory animals like rodents (rats and mice), rabbit, guinea pig and also zebra fish. I learnt different routes of administration in rodents like Intravenous (I.V), Intraperitoneal (I.P), Sub-cutaneous (S.C), oral (P.O), Intracerebroventricular (I.C.V) and in zebrafish like Oral and Intraperitoneal (I.P). I also learnt breeding techniques and isolation of brain in zebra fish. I also handled many equipments like Kymograph, Plethysmograph, Pole Climbing apparatus, Actophotometer, Electro-convulsiometer, Centrifuge, Incubator and mazes (Plus, T and water). With the sound knowledge on behavior analysis, I could develop a behavioral model by the support bestowed by my faculty and was able to employ it in my post graduation thesis work. We were exhilarated after it worked well with the experiment. I feel proud to say that this work had also been published in a journal with the title “Design and development of a novel color bias avoided and appetite conditioning T maze model for evaluating the memory enhancing drugs in zebra fish”.
With a great enthusiasm to meet the eminent professors of my field, I also energetically participated in various conference and presented posters during under-graduation and post-graduation studies. The most outstanding amongst all was Indo-American Pharmaceutical Regulatory Symposium organized by North Eastern University, Boston, USA at one of the premiere universities, Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University where I presented poster on ‘Neuronal calcium signaling in Alzheimer’s disease’which offered me worthful opportunity to meet great professors. I actively participated in many extracurricular activities like singing, dance during bachelor’s and master’s studies for which I also received a prize.
The pathetic life of Alzheimer’s patient (My Grand Mother) and also the stressful life of the caregivers (Grand Father and My Mother) ignited my interest towards Alzheimer’s disease. With this motivation, I decided to further my career in the field of research on the same. My research interest is mainly on studying the molecular mechanisms of Alzheimer’s disease (AD). To be specific, my major interest is to study the formation of Amyloid β plaques, and Neurofibrillary tangles which are the major pathological hallmarks of the disease. In addition, I am also interested in carrying out studies on the other molecular mechanisms and potential treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.
I always intended to be a part of organization which provides state-of-the-art research facilities, great research environment, boundless support, friendly academic community. Your university meets all the criteria. I studied your article ‘Decreased Activation along the dorsal visual pathway after a 3-month treatment with Galantamine in Mild Alzheimer Disease’. It was really an interesting work which indicates that the visual perception is altered in AD patients. I found that you are mainly involved in developing non-invasive markers for AD. I am enthusiastic to work under your guidance in your laboratory where I get chance to directly interact with AD patients. My long term goals are to secure PhD position in Alzheimer's research then seek a post doctoral position and further carry out my career in the research field as a research scientist. I also love to disseminate my knowledge to the students. My desire to pursue PhD, specifically on Alzheimer’s disease at your university will satiate my thirst for subject & provide an opportunity to scale that ladder of success in the field of research.
Thank you for the opportunity to express my views. Kindly contact me at any time as I am looking for good news. Thank you a lot for your valuable time and kind consideration.

Sincerely,
Vemula Pranav Kumar.

 

[Tarheel]

I decided to pursue a PhD in neurodegenerative disease, specifically Alzheimer’s disease, during the final year of studies for my bachelor’s degree.

First of all, don't thank me in advance. Also, I don't want to do anything with that SOP you posted until you repost it spacing between paragraphs.

 

[Tarheel]

To that end, I pursued a master's with the Department of Pharmacology, my thesis to be on Alzheimer’s disease; and my goal now is to seek a PhD on Alzheimer’s disease at the molecular level, also its pharmacological treatment, and I ultimately want to make a contribution in combating the disease.

 

[pranavvemula]

Dear Sir,

I have posted my LOM again with the spaces in between the paragraphs. Kindly check the LOM and let me know the errors and corrections to be made.

 

[Tarheel]

It is not just a statement of purpose. it is a quest to realize my passion for Alzheimer’s research.

I decided to pursue a PhD in neurodegenerative disease, specifically Alzheimer’s disease, during the final year of studies for my bachelor’s degree. To that end, I pursued a master's with the Department of Pharmacology, my thesis being on Alzheimer’s disease; and my goal now is to seek a PhD on Alzheimer’s disease at the molecular level, also its pharmacological treatment and ultimately to make a contribution in combating the disease.

With the aim of working on AD, I pursued a Masters in the department of Pharmacology. I carried out my thesis work on the behavioral aspects of AD using zebra fish. I was interested in learning a new animal model, and for that reason I decided to work on a zebra fish model. I did my project in our college which gave a great insight into the research methodology beginning from the literature survey to the write-up of results. I worked on the assessment of memory enhancing activity using Ocimum sanctum leaves aqueous extract using two behavioral tests, inhibitory avoidance test (IAT) and color biased appetite conditioning T-maze. I noticed that the test drug treated animals showed hindrance to enter the dark chamber (Where shock treatment was given during training session) in the test session in IAT and in T-maze, the animals entered food containing green chamber and also had less total number of entries which indicated the enhancement of memory in the animals treated with the test drug when compared to control group.

During under graduation, as a part of course curriculum I learnt molecular biology techniques like Gel electrophoresis, ELISA, bacterial culture, and western blotting. During my post-graduation studies, I handled different laboratory animals like rodents (rats and mice), rabbits, guinea pigs and also zebra fish. I learnt different routes of administration in rodents like Intravenous (I.V), Intraperitoneal (I.P), Sub-cutaneous (S.C), oral (P.O), Intracerebroventricular (I.C.V) and in zebrafish like Oral and Intraperitoneal (I.P). I also learnt breeding techniques and isolation of brain in zebra fish. I also handled many equipments like Kymograph, Plethysmograph, Pole Climbing apparatus, Actophotometer, Electro-convulsiometer, Centrifuge, Incubator and mazes (Plus, T and water). With the sound knowledge on behavior analysis, I could develop a behavioral model by the support bestowed by my faculty and was able to employ it in my post graduation thesis work. We were exhilarated after it worked well with the experiment. I am proud to say that this work has also been published in a journal with the title “Design and development of a novel color bias avoided and appetite conditioning T maze model for evaluating the memory enhancing drugs in zebra fish”.

With a great enthusiasm to meet the eminent professors of my field, I also energetically participated in various conference and presented posters during under-graduation and post-graduation studies. The most outstanding amongst all was Indo-American Pharmaceutical Regulatory Symposium organized by North Eastern University, Boston, USA at one of the premiere universities, Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University where I presented poster on ‘Neuronal calcium signaling in Alzheimer’s disease’which offered me worthful opportunity to meet great professors. I actively participated in many extracurricular activities like singing, dance during bachelor’s and master’s studies for which I also received a prize.
The pathetic life of an Alzheimer’s patient (my grandmother) and also the stressful life of the caregivers (my grandfather and my mother) ignited my interest in Alzheimer’s disease. With this motivation, I decided to further my career in the field of research on the same. My research interest is mainly on studying the molecular mechanisms of Alzheimer’s disease (AD). To be specific, my major interest is to study the formation of Amyloid β plaques, and Neurofibrillary tangles which are the major pathological hallmarks of the disease. In addition, I am also interested in carrying out studies on the other molecular mechanisms and potential treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.

I always intended to be a part of organization which provides state-of-the-art research facilities, great research environment, boundless support, friendly academic community. Your university meets all the criteria. I studied your article ‘Decreased Activation along the dorsal visual pathway after a 3-month treatment with Galantamine in Mild Alzheimer Disease’. It was really an interesting work which indicates that the visual perception is altered in AD patients. I found that you are mainly involved in developing non-invasive markers for AD. I am enthusiastic to work under your guidance in your laboratory where I get chance to directly interact with AD patients. My long term goals are to secure PhD position in Alzheimer's research then seek a post doctoral position and further carry out my career in the research field as a research scientist. I also love to disseminate my knowledge to the students. My desire to pursue PhD, specifically on Alzheimer’s disease at your university will satiate my thirst for subject & provide an opportunity to scale that ladder of success in the field of research.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my views. Kindly contact me at any time as I am looking for good news. Thank you a lot for your valuable time and kind consideration.

Sincerely,
Vemula Pranav Kumar.

You can clearly see what I have done so far. I will work on it more later.

 

[pranavvemula]

I am really glad that you taken time for correcting my LOM. Thank you a lot.

 

[emsr2d2]

Are you calling it your SOP (in your title) or your LOM (in two posts)?

 

[pranavvemula]

Yeah Sir, Its actually LOM.

 

[emsr2d2]

[STRIKE]Yeah[/STRIKE] Unnecessary and even it was necessary, the word is "Yes". [STRIKE]Sir[/STRIKE] Unnecessary and impolite as it excludes all our female users. It's actually my/a LOM.

See above.

In case any other users are confused by the acronyms: LOM = Letter of Motivation; SOP = Statement of Purpose.

 

[Tarheel]

‘It is not just a statement of purpose – it is a quest to realize my passion for Alzheimer’s research.’

I determined to pursue a PhD in neurodegenerative disease, specifically Alzheimer’s disease, during the final year of studies for my bachelor’s degree. To that end, I pursued a master's with the Department of Pharmacology, my thesis on Alzheimer’s disease; and my goal now is to seek PhD on Alzheimer’s disease at the molecular level, also its pharmacological treatment and ultimately to make a contribution in combating the disease.

With the perpetual interest towards working on AD, I pursued Masters in the department of Pharmacology. I carried out my thesis work on the behavioral aspects of AD using Zebra fish. I was always interested to learn a new animal model and for that reason I decided to work on zebra fish model. I did my project in our college which gave a great insight into the research methodology beginning from the literature survey to the write-up of results. I worked on the assessment of memory enhancing activity using Ocimum sanctum leaves aqueous extract using two behavioral tests, inhibitory avoidance test (IAT) and color biased appetite conditioning T-maze. I noticed that the test drug treated animals showed hindrance to enter the dark chamber (Where shock treatment was given during training session) in the test session in IAT and in T-maze, the animals entered food containing green chamber and also had less total number of entries which indicated the enhancement of memory in the animals treated with the test drug when compared to control group.

During under graduation, as a part of course curriculum I learnt molecular biology techniques like Gel electrophoresis, ELISA, bacterial culture, western blotting. During my post-graduation, I handled different laboratory animals like rodents (rats and mice), rabbit, guinea pig and also zebra fish. I learnt different routes of administration in rodents like Intravenous (I.V), Intraperitoneal (I.P), Sub-cutaneous (S.C), oral (P.O), Intracerebroventricular (I.C.V) and in zebrafish like Oral and Intraperitoneal (I.P). I also learnt breeding techniques and isolation of brain in zebra fish. I also handled many equipments like Kymograph, Plethysmograph, Pole Climbing apparatus, Actophotometer, Electro-convulsiometer, Centrifuge, Incubator and mazes (Plus, T and water). With the sound knowledge on behavior analysis, I could develop a behavioral model by the support bestowed by my faculty and was able to employ it in my post graduation thesis work. We were exhilarated after it worked well with the experiment. I feel proud to say that this work had also been published in a journal with the title “Design and development of a novel color bias avoided and appetite conditioning T maze model for evaluating the memory enhancing drugs in zebra fish”.

With a great enthusiasm to meet the eminent professors of my field, I also energetically participated in various conference and presented posters during under-graduation and post-graduation studies. The most outstanding amongst all was Indo-American Pharmaceutical Regulatory Symposium organized by North Eastern University, Boston, USA at one of the premiere universities, Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University where I presented poster on ‘Neuronal calcium signaling in Alzheimer’s disease’which offered me worthful opportunity to meet great professors. I actively participated in many extracurricular activities like singing, dance during bachelor’s and master’s studies for which I also received a prize.
The pathetic life of Alzheimer’s patient (My Grand Mother) and also the stressful life of the caregivers (Grand Father and My Mother) ignited my interest towards Alzheimer’s disease. With this motivation, I decided to further my career in the field of research on the same. My research interest is mainly on studying the molecular mechanisms of Alzheimer’s disease (AD). To be specific, my major interest is to study the formation of Amyloid β plaques, and Neurofibrillary tangles which are the major pathological hallmarks of the disease. In addition, I am also interested in carrying out studies on the other molecular mechanisms and potential treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.

I always intended to be a part of organization which provides state-of-the-art research facilities, great research environment, boundless support, friendly academic community. Your university meets all the criteria. I studied your article ‘Decreased Activation along the dorsal visual pathway after a 3-month treatment with Galantamine in Mild Alzheimer Disease’. It was really an interesting work which indicates that the visual perception is altered in AD patients. I found that you are mainly involved in developing non-invasive markers for AD. I am enthusiastic to work under your guidance in your laboratory where I get chance to directly interact with AD patients. My long term goals are to secure PhD position in Alzheimer's research then seek a post doctoral position and further carry out my career in the research field as a research scientist. I also love to disseminate my knowledge to the students. My desire to pursue PhD, specifically on Alzheimer’s disease at your university will satiate my thirst for subject & provide an opportunity to scale that ladder of success in the field of research.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my views. Kindly contact me at any time as I am looking for good news. Thank you a lot for your valuable time and kind consideration.

 

[Tarheel]

Now we are starting over. As for whether you should call it SOP or LOM, well, "statement of purpose" is in the body of your essay/letter.

‘It is not just a statement of purpose – it is a quest to realize my passion for Alzheimer’s research.’

I decided to pursue a PhD in neurodegenerative disease, specifically Alzheimer’s disease, during the final year of studies for my bachelor’s degree. To that end, I pursued a master's with the Department of Pharmacology, my thesis being on Alzheimer’s disease; and my goal now is to pursue a PhD on Alzheimer’s disease at the molecular level, also its pharmacological treatment and ultimately to make a contribution in combating the disease.

With my goal towards working on AD, I pursued a Masters in the department of Pharmacology. I carried out my thesis work on the behavioral aspects of AD using zebra fish. I was always interested in learning a new animal model and for that reason I decided to work on a zebra fish model. I did my project in our college, which gave a great insight into the research methodology beginning from the literature survey to the write-up of results. I worked on the assessment of memory enhancing activity using Ocimum sanctum leaves aqueous extract using two behavioral tests -- inhibitory avoidance test (IAT) and color biased appetite conditioning T-maze. I noticed that the test drug treated animals showed resistance to entering the dark chamber (Where shock treatment was given during training session) in the test session in IAT and in T-maze. The animals that entered the food containing green chamber had a lower number of entries, which indicated the enhancement of memory in the animals treated with the test drug when compared to the control group.

Frankly, I am not sure if I got those last two sentences (previously one really long sentence) right. So please comment on my corrections/suggestions.

 

[Tarheel]

During my undergraduate studies, as a part of the course curriculum I learned molecular biology techniques like Gel electrophoresis, ELISA, bacterial culture, western blotting. During my post-graduate studies, I handled different laboratory animals like rodents (rats and mice), rabbits, guinea pigs and zebra fish. I learned different routes of administration in rodents like Intravenous (I.V), Intraperitoneal (I.P), Sub-cutaneous (S.C), oral (P.O), Intracerebroventricular (I.C.V) and in zebrafish Oral and Intraperitoneal (I.P). I also learned breeding techniques and isolation of the brain in zebra fish. I also handled much equipment like Kymograph, Plethysmograph, Pole Climbing apparatus, Actophotometer, Electro-convulsiometer, Centrifuge, Incubator and mazes (Plus, T and water). With the sound knowledge on behavior analysis, I could develop a behavioral model by the support bestowed by my faculty and was able to employ it in my post graduate thesis work. We were exhilarated after the experiment succeeded. I feel proud to say that this work has been published in a journal with the title “Design and development of a novel color bias avoided and appetite conditioning T maze model for evaluating the memory enhancing drugs in zebra fish”.

There are a couple of problems. You should only capitalize proper nouns. You should not capitalize words like oral, intravenous, subcutaneous, etc. Also, I suggest that you delete rodents. (You already have "rats and mice" in there.) Finally, the title of the journal is not Design and development of a novel color bias, etc. Instead, that is the title of the paper. Rephrase that sentence.

 

[pranavvemula]

Thank you a lot for your corrections and suggestions.

In IAT experiment, we would apply shock. In T maze, we would check the number of entries. So, removing in T maze from the first sentence and putting in the second sentence would be appropriate.

 

[pranavvemula]

I will follow your valuable suggestions and I will surely make the corrections you have suggested.

 

[Tarheel]

If I read this enough times I might actually understand some of it. ;-)

With a great enthusiasm to meet the eminent professors of my field, I [STRIKE]also[/STRIKE] energetically participated in various conferences and presented posters during undergraduate and postgraduate studies. The most outstanding amongst all was Indo-American Pharmaceutical Regulatory Symposium organized by North Eastern University, Boston, USA at one of the premier universities, Jawaharlal Nehru Technological University where I presented a poster on ‘Neuronal calcium signaling in Alzheimer’s disease’which offered me a wonderful opportunity to meet great professors. I actively participated in many extracurricular activities like singing and dancing during bachelor’s and master’s studies for which I also received a prize.

The pathetic life of an Alzheimer’s patient (my grandmother) and also the stressful life of the caregivers (my grandfather and my mother) ignited my interest in Alzheimer’s disease. With this motivation, I decided to further my career in the field of research on the same. My research interest is mainly in studying the molecular mechanisms of Alzheimer’s disease (AD). To be specific, my major interest is to study the formation of Amyloid β plaques, and Neurofibrillary tangles which are the major pathological hallmarks of the disease. In addition, I am also interested in carrying out studies on the other molecular mechanisms and potential treatment of Alzheimer’s disease.

I have always intended to be part of an organization which provides state-of-the-art research facilities, a great research environment, boundless support, and a friendly academic community. Your university meets all the criteria. I studied your article ‘Decreased Activation along the dorsal visual pathway after a 3-month treatment with Galantamine in Mild Alzheimer Disease’. It was really an interesting work, which indicates that the visual perception is altered in AD patients. I found that you are mainly involved in developing non-invasive markers for AD. I am enthusiastic to work under your guidance in your laboratory where I will get a chance to directly interact with AD patients. My long term goals are to secure PhD position in Alzheimer's research then seek a post doctoral position and further carry out my career in the research field as a research scientist. I also love to disseminate my knowledge to the students. My desire to pursue a PhD, specifically on Alzheimer’s disease at your university will satiate my thirst for subject & provide an opportunity to scale that ladder of success in the field of research.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my views. Kindly contact me at any time as I am looking for good news. Thank you a lot for your valuable time and kind consideration.

premier http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/premier?s=t

I think we're finished.

:up:

 

[pranavvemula]

I am really glad that you have taken your time for correcting my SOP. Thank you a lot for your corrections.