[Grammar] e-mail grammer

[lanzi]

I woule like to send an e-mail as below. Could you please check if this e-mail makes sense or need some correction?

Thank you so much



Title: Request for a permission to use "XX" advertisement clip(video)

Dear (company XZ),

This is (name), a member of (company A).

I am writing in regards to receive a permission from the Company XZ prior to utilizing "XXX" clip(video) for educational purpose.

I would also like to share an advertisement's significant meaning with our Company A employees, by putting subtitle on the clip(video).

If you wish to indicate that you have an advertisement's copyrights, following sentence will be shown in the first part of the video.

"Company XZ has the copyright of this video and prevent the use of another object other than the company's own educational usage"

 

[tedmc]

This post should go to the Letter Writing section of the forum.

1. Request for Permisson..(without 'a').

2. Since you are writing to ask for a favour, you should elaborate more on the company, what it does, who the owners are, its background, etc.

3. It is better to use 'we' instead of 'I' if you are writing for a company.

4. I am writing to seek your/your company's kind permission (no need to repeat the name of the company) to utilize ..... for educational purposes. (non-profit making? as a community service? for charity?). Other relevant information to give would be the period of use, the audience, etc.

5. We would add subtitles to the video clip in ... language for the benefit our our company's employees.

6. Acknowledgement : We will put in an acknowledgement in the first part of the video to say:

We are grateful to Company xyz, who owns the copyright of this video, for their kind permission to screen this video for educational purposes.

not teacher