[Cover Letter] Proofreading short cover letter

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Hi,

I would like to know the flaws in this pieces. It's translated.
Thank you.

"(Name) is the (position) in (country), a prestigious American magazine with more than 20 international editions and 80 years of tradition. She enrolled in the (school), aiming for a career in business that promised to secure financial stability to her family struggling in debt, but soon returned to writing, her childhood passion. She shortly became involved in countless extracurricular publishing activities and landed her first job in the media at 19.

At only 27, she’s already worked for International Emmy nominee television programs, radio shows, online and print media, in her country and abroad. She covered human rights, discrimination, social conflicts, international politics, European policies, health and culture. She was granted several scholarships to study journalism abroad, by distinguished organizations such as the (Name), (Name), and (Name). She is a two-time award winner for her in-depth reporting and storytelling skills and trainer for students interested in journalism. She is currently working on her first documentary film and her first book, a family memoir centered on her grandfather's destiny, who died in unknown circumstances after being tortured by the (Name).

In her spare time, (Name) loves to travel (although she's not a big fan of flying), study gastronomy (friends call her "the pie master"), and read historical novels."
 

Tarheel

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Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
"(Name) is the (position) in (country), a prestigious American magazine with more than 20 international editions and 80 years of tradition.

Perhaps:

Nancy Miller is the chief editor at XYZ, a prestigious American magazine with more than 20 international editions and which has been in circulation for 80 years.

:)
 
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