Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Please would you take a look at my poem and correct my mistakes.
The Divine Afflatus
A bottle or Rioja and another of Merlot did the trick.
A shudder arouse within him,
an unstoppable torrent swept his mind, and he stood up.
A word begot more words,
sentences climbed up to unimaginable heights.
their power and beauty filling him with a delicious sensation.
He was Pericles, Socrates, Ghandi and Lincoln in one.
Wow! People in the pub lauded, toasted to his act.
The next Saturday he plied himself with the same wine
but nothing stirred, no movement in his brain cells.
His mouth was shut.
For weeks and months, he tried to kindle fires,
open gates, turn valves.
Nothing happened, except throbbing headaches
and terrible hangovers with the opening of his eyes.
The Divine Afflatus
A bottle or Rioja and another of Merlot did the trick.
A shudder arouse within him,
an unstoppable torrent swept his mind, and he stood up.
A word begot more words,
sentences climbed up to unimaginable heights.
their power and beauty filling him with a delicious sensation.
He was Pericles, Socrates, Ghandi and Lincoln in one.
Wow! People in the pub lauded, toasted to his act.
The next Saturday he plied himself with the same wine
but nothing stirred, no movement in his brain cells.
His mouth was shut.
For weeks and months, he tried to kindle fires,
open gates, turn valves.
Nothing happened, except throbbing headaches
and terrible hangovers with the opening of his eyes.