[Essay] Please correct this paragraph

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mithunpjohn

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Moreover, the vast research facilities along with research partners like Airbus, CNRS, FOTEC, NASA make Wiener very attractive. In addition, research in the field of Propulsion systems (Horizon 2020 Project Rheform), and projects like Development of a low thrust bipropellant using green propellants in cooperation with ESA, Development of a Pulsed Plasma Thruster (PPT) and monopropellant thruster based on hydrogen peroxide, are my main motivations for applying for this course. Furthermore, .......
 

ybrant6712

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Moreover, the vast research facilities along with research partners like Airbus, CNRS, FOTEC, NASA make Wiener very attractive. In addition, research in the field of Propulsion systems (, Horizon 2020 Project Rheform)and projects like Development of a low thrust bipropellant using green propellants in cooperation with ESA, Development of a Pulsed Plasma Thruster (PPT) and monopropellant thruster based on hydrogen peroxide, are my main motivations for applying for this course. Furthermore, .......



"In addition , on going research in the field of Propulsion Systems (Horizon 2020 Project Rheform ).. and projects like development of a Low Thrust Bi- propellant using Green propellants in cooperation with ESA, or development of a Pulsed Plasma Thruster (PPT) or else a Monopropellant Thruster based on hydrogen peroxide , are the prime /key /chief motivational factors that compel me to apply for this course."
 

mithunpjohn

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"In addition , on going research in the field of Propulsion Systems (Horizon 2020 Project Rheform ).. and projects like development of a Low Thrust Bi- propellant using Green propellants in cooperation with ESA, or development of a Pulsed Plasma Thruster (PPT) or else a Monopropellant Thruster based on hydrogen peroxide , are the prime /key /chief motivational factors that compel me to apply for this course."

why did you use "or" instead of "and"?
 

emsr2d2

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"In addition, [strike]on going[/strike] ongoing research in the field of Propulsion Systems (Horizon 2020 Project Rheform) and projects like the development of a Low Thrust Bi-propellant using green propellants in cooperation with ESA, [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] the development of a Pulsed Plasma Thruster (PPT) or [STRIKE]else[/STRIKE] a Monopropellant Thruster based on hydrogen peroxide, are the prime/key/chief motivational factors that compel me to apply for this course."

Ybrant, please remember to start a post with "Not a teacher" if you try to correct someone else's writing.

I don't pretend to understand the content but I have made corrections to the grammar, punctuation and spacing above in red.
 
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