can someone edit my story

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lulu17779

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*Ding-dong*
It was 12 A.M. when I stepped out of the airplane. I was really amazed that there were snowflakes falling from the sky. Snowflakes danced around me before falling to the ground. I wasn't expecting it to snow since the last countries I visited were hot and sweaty.

My eyes started to sparkle as I looked at how streets were busy although it was midnight. Walking in Seoul's main shopping and tourism districts Myeongdong Street there I discovered how Korean people look like I was surprised that all of them looked the same. They had squinting eyes and almost no eyelashes. Its like I’m the only one in that country that looks totally different.

I went to the hotel that I booked in last night and I realized that all the shops names were written in Korean. In the main entrance of the hotel the people there stood and started to bow I just ignored it because I really didn’t know what are they doing.
Eventually I signed in, took my luggage and went to my room. I accessed into my room and there I stood and my eyes wide open and started to scream and jump everywhere. I saw crickets one my bed one laying dead and one in the bathrooms sink. Finally one of the room service cleaners came.
He started speaking and he said, “ geugeos-eul haji soli jungji keun munjega gwittulami sabang hangug e issda (Stop shouting its not a big deal crickets are everywhere in Korea)”.
I was confused about what he wanted to tell me. I started to make some moves telling him, that I want a new room. He took a napkin and grabbed the crickets and flushed them and he bows and leaves. I was really sleepy and till a sudden moment I cant open my eyes I slept till the next morning and this is the time where my adventure begins.

I woke up 7 o’clock took a shower and prepared my self to start my adventure, I put on my coat I was heading to the elevator but quickly changed my mind as I remembered the crickets I saw yesterday so I decided to take the staircase. I went to the hotels buffet and ate Korean breakfast that tasted really gross after eating my stomach started to growl and I knew I was going to throw up. Suddenly a dark haired tall Korean guy comes towards me (you want ride!)
He says in a forced English accent. I eyed him suspiciously, “what If he is a serial killer” I thought “you want or no”
He said impatiently the only word I know until now is yes so I said “ne”(which is yes).
I opened my mini Korean dictionary and started to translate sentences and looked for a sentence that meant “can you take me on a tour” which was “Dangsin-eun hangug ui juwie tueoe delyeo gal su issseubnida”
He laughed at me and told me “you no good talk Korean” I look at him angrily “WELL YOU NO TALK GOOD ENGLISH EITHER!!” He laughs again and bows while opening the taxi door.

I began my tour in which I first went to Sejongno, Jongno-gu which is a park that has statues there I took my Polaroid I took a picture of the biggest king statue I wasn’t that kind of person that just liked to watch solid statues. People were staring at me as I began climbing to touch the statue.
Suddenly a security started to yell “ alaelo idonghabnida” (go down) of course I didn’t know what was he talking but I knew its because I saw the sign “Not allowed to climb” but the best thing in life is breaking the laws.




The taxi guy started to mumble in Korean that made him realize later on that I don’t know what he was saying then he offered me if I want to go to a Korean restaurant, “you want Korean eat restaurant? ” I understood he that he trying to tell me that maybe do you want to go to a Korean restaurant. I politely rejected I remembered the food I ate in my hotel yesterday. I told him to drop me in a shopping center for 1 hour and come back to pick me up to take me to the last place.
There in the shopping center I decided to eat Mc Donald’s but then I saw a long line. I decided to wait for 10 minutes, if I didn’t order then I will leave and go to any restaurant. Ten minutes were done and still I’m in the middle of the line my blood was boiling till it circulated around my heart, which resulted in it vigorously beating. I started to shout at people who merged in the line and told the manger of Mc Donald’s “THIS IS SO RIDICILOUS” till a point my face became red as tomato.
I calmed down and rushed to another restaurant I ate the spiciest food there, which is something called Buldak it was tender boneless chicken topped with hot buffalo sauce it was the best dish I ever ate just because I was starving.
After all I the taxi guy was waiting for me and welcomed me with a pleasure. He asked me about the shopping center and we discussed its negatives and positives but the truth half of the things I didn’t understand because of his forced English language but I got to used to it as I continued my tour. At the begging of my tour he promised me to take me to the best Momentum, which is the National Museum of Korea. Finally I reached I grabbed my Polaroid I was so excited to see some historical collections as the taxi parked my eyes glazed surprisingly as I saw this huge museum ”annyeong”(good bye)






I left the taxi and went rushing to go see what’s inside this huge tremendous museum. I paid for my entrance and there I stood with my mouth wide-open “OMG THIS IS THE BEST PLACE IVE EVER VISTED” I started to touch some artworks I adore touching art works that contain textures. But the worst thing about any museum I visited that they didn’t allow me to touch anything and there I forced my hand to not touch anything if I did an alarm will start ringing then ill be kicked out of the museum. Unfortunately I got kicked out as soon as possible the bell rang five times. Securities held me from my arms and told me “never come back girl” I didn’t really know how to force my self to stop touching things

As soon as possible I called the taxi driver and told him to come. “anyo-sayo” (hello) as I opened the taxi the guy was surprised why I finished exploring. the museum in 10 minutes. “Why you take no long in museum”. I told him the story that had happened there and told him to take me to take me back to my hotel because it was about 9 o’clock pm and I visited 3 places in Seoul. As he was driving I started to ask him “you what do in weekends” he told me that he would spend all his day with him family doing activities such going to the beach or sometimes staying at home having lunch together. He told me the reason why Korean people love hanging out with their family one of the reasons is to create strong relationships. I reached to the hotel I bowed to the taxi driver and told him (Thanks for this incredible tour I really had enjoyable day today and see next year) He didn’t know what to stay he bowed and apologized to what happened today morning.

I slept to the next morning and this was the time where I will travel to TOKYO. Suddenly I remembered that I left my Polaroid in the taxis back seats “its ok, He deserves it” as I thought, now its 12:00 midnight and I’m seating in the airplane writing about how this was an amazing tour “Good bye Korea!” as I waved from the airplanes window and “Here I come Tokyo”.
 

emsr2d2

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What is the purpose of your short story? What are you going to do with it? Why does it start with "ding-dong"?
 

lulu17779

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What is the purpose of your short story? What are you going to do with it? Why does it start with "ding-dong"?
the purpose is that girl goes in a country and discovers and tours around,its for ur english display book we are making booklet each student will do 4 pages in which the same main character visits a country and tours around.i start with ding dong because its 12 am and now i arrived from the country before and will tour
 

emsr2d2

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The [STRIKE]purpose[/STRIKE] story is that ​a girl goes [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] to a country and discovers it and tours around. It's for our English display book. We are making a booklet. Each student will do 4 pages in which the same main character visits a country and tours around. I started with "ding dong" because it's 12am and now I have arrived from the country before and will tour (the underlined part does not make sense.)

See my corrections above. It's important to use correct capitalisation and punctuation at all times.

Will your teacher give you a grade for your booklet?
 
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