please help me with paragraph.

[htkndc]

teacher give me subject that '' in about 140 words, write a paragraph about the kind of job you would like to do after you finish your education''
and this is my paragraph
many people often ask me that:'' what would you like to do after you finish your education''. I immediately rely them:'' i want to be a bussiness man''. The requires for that are ability to communicate well, speaking indefinitely in front of the crowd, a bit of creation, etc... .But the most important is you must master on or some languages. I would like to do bussiness because it will bring about me so much benefit. firstly, i can improve my english skills enven learn other languages.secondly, i will contat with many people and acquire the knowledge from many different culturals and lastly i can have opportunity to go aboard for leaning not only qualification but life skills as well.In conclusion, for those reasons and benefits, i hope to be a good bussiness man on one day.

i'm a newbie.please point out the mistakes and help me to fix them. i am going to take an english exam but my english so bad. i hope through this forum i can improve my english. thank you very much. i'm from vietnam, nice to meet you.

 

[teechar]

Hi htkndc

- Capitalize the personal pronoun (I), regardless of its position in the sentence.
- "Rely" is not the same as "reply."
- "Require" is a verb.
- "Indefinitely" is not the same as "confidently."
- "Creation" is not the same as "creativity."
- "Enven" and "contat" are not words in English.
- Capitalize the first letter of every sentence.
- Leave a space after a full stop.
- "Cultural" is not a noun.

I suggest that you make yourself familiar with some reliable dictionary websites including ones that cater to speakers of Vietnamese.
You're always welcome to post more questions here.
;-)

 

[htkndc]

hi teechar, thank for you answer.
have i lack any ideas in this subject?

 

[emsr2d2]

You were lucky to get the help you did from teechar. You started this post with a sentence which makes it clear that you were given this assignment by a teacher. We don't help with homework here. You must do the work yourself.

Thread closed.