[Essay] Everyone check my english in below a passage?

[Lê Thiên Hoàng]

Summer vacation is coming up. It's excited! I was going through " christmas" and "happy new year". So I accidentally to went over a primary school. I saw an red phoenix flowers, It look a beauty. I naturally startle that it such as I have been saw a old girl friends yesterday. I was trying to close my eyes, and I got remember those days when I was young as got much laughed from a friends, the first of loving in clarity. This is a summer vocation.
This is a songs it's name "The summer" of Josh Pyke singer. That's songs it could made broken up your heart. Listening "The summer" in morning of the first of summer vacation.. It make you remember all above things, and show memory up in childhood when you are old. Then the summer there will only be a memory but you also could not remember for. So how to not neglect the summer was in font of it's house gateway, in patchy sunlight familiar street? and How to keep the days of summer when you still get young years of age forever.
The end.

+ Everyone check a gammar, vocabulary,...if it get error then where is error?

Thanks.

 

[teechar]

I found it very difficult to understand your writing. I suggest that you start with shorter texts, perhaps even individual sentences to improve your basic writing skills and slowly build up to longer pieces.

"Summer vacation is coming up." OK
"It's excited!" That should be "It's exciting!"
"I was going through "Christmas" and "happy new year". I don't understand.
"So I accidentally to went over a primary school." I don't understand.
I saw a red phoenix flower; It looked beautiful.
"I naturally startle that it such as I have been saw a old girl friends yesterday." I don't understand.
... etc.

It's best if you write your text using clear and simple language.

Good luck, and we're always here to help. ;-)

 

[Yuji Kondo]

Summer vacation is coming up. It's excited! I was going through " christmas" and "happy new year". So I accidentally to went over a primary school. I saw an red phoenix flowers, It look a beauty. I naturally startle that it such as I have been saw a old girl friends yesterday. I was trying to close my eyes, and I got remember those days when I was young as got much laughed from a friends, the first of loving in clarity. This is a summer vocation.
This is a songs it's name "The summer" of Josh Pyke singer. That's songs it could made broken up your heart. Listening "The summer" in morning of the first of summer vacation.. It make you remember all above things, and show memory up in childhood when you are old. Then the summer there will only be a memory but you also could not remember for. So how to not neglect the summer was in font of it's house gateway, in patchy sunlight familiar street? and How to keep the days of summer when you still get young years of age forever.
The end.

+ Everyone check a gammar, vocabulary,...if it get error then where is error?

Thanks.

NOT A TEACHER

I read your postive message that let you to step upward to your goal.

Reading that roughly, despite of some mistakes in grammer, but you will have such a word-diveristy sense that our nation people might be so upset with.

I'm sure that most of your statement should be essential to present us, so long to be more practical in wiriting essays more and more.

Have a nice topic!

Great and devotive,