Yang Yuhuan is fated to be a concubine

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Gaya87

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Hi.. would appreciate if someone could check there is any grammatical error in it, thanks in advance.

Summary(shot)
Yang Yuhuan is fated to be a concubine to Emperor Tang after her husband, Prince Li Mao abandons her. But her joy of life seems short-lived when a rebellion against the Emperor takes place.

Summary(Long)
Yang Yuhuan is a wife of Prince Li Mao and the Emperor Tang Ming Huang’s daughter-in-law. When Prince Li’s mother, Wu commits suicide after her conspiracy against the Emperor fails, Yang is abandoned and is given to the Emperor in exchange for the crown prince. Their affection has been brought up through the political struggle and living together in the palace. But their happiness and good days do not last long when Lushan Rebellion breaks out.
 

tedmc

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Summary(shot)
Yang Yuhuan is fated to be a concubine to Emperor Tang after her husband, Prince Li Mao, abandons her. But her joy of life seems short-lived when a rebellion against the Emperor takes place.

Summary(Long)
Yang Yuhuan is a wife of Prince Li Mao and the Emperor Tang Ming Huang’s daughter-in-law. When Prince Li’s mother, Wu commits suicide after her conspiracy against the Emperor fails, Yang is abandoned and is given to the Emperor in exchange for the crown prince. Their affection has been brought up through the political struggle and living together in the palace. But their happiness and good days do not last long when the Lushan Rebellion breaks out.
 

emsr2d2

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You need a space before an opening bracket.
You misspelt "short".
How many wives did he have? If only one, then she is "the wife", not "a wife".
"Their affection has been brought up ..." is not natural. I would use something like "Their affection grew ...".
 

tedmc

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The emperors and princes of China in the old days were known to have many wives and concubines.
 

Matthew Wai

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In the old days of China, even ordinary men could have three wives and four concubines.
 

emsr2d2

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I know that but that doesn't answer the question I posed to Gaya87. We need to know how many wives Prince Li Mao had.
 

Gaya87

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You need a space before an opening bracket.
You misspelt "short".
How many wives did he have? If only one, then she is "the wife", not "a wife".
"Their affection has been brought up ..." is not natural. I would use something like "Their affection grew ...".

If more then one shall I use as "a wife"?

This sounds good to me as well: Their affection grew through the political struggle..
Thanks for your feedback.
 

emsr2d2

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Thanks, Matthew, but do you think that you could hold fire in future and give OPs a chance to questions which were aimed directly at them? I would really like Gaya87 to re-engage with this thread.
 

Gaya87

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Thanks, Matthew, but do you think that you could hold fire in future and give OPs a chance to questions which were aimed directly at them? I would really like Gaya87 to re-engage with this thread.

By all your feedback & through the replies I'm learning many new words. Never heard the word "hold fire" before thanks Teacher (emsr2d2), I just googled and looked for the definition. I feel so good ever since came to this forum. Hope one day I can speak and write as native English speaker. Looking forward to learn more and more.
 

emsr2d2

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That's good to know, Gaya87. Did you notice that I asked you a question in a earlier post (about the number of wives the prince had)? People who respond to threads frequently ask follow-up questions so it's a good idea to keep an eye on your own threads and answer any questions as soon as you can. You can check on threads you have posted (either asking a question or posting a response) by clicking on "Quick Links" at the top and then choosing "Subscribed Threads" from the dropdown list. If a post appears in bold, it means there is a new post in that thread so it's a good idea to click on it and read the new post(s).
 

Gaya87

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You need a space before an opening bracket.
You misspelt "short".
How many wives did he have? If only one, then she is "the wife", not "a wife".
"Their affection has been brought up ..." is not natural. I would use something like "Their affection grew ...".

short-lived??? I don't see any spelling error in it? Can you please indicate further?
 

emsr2d2

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I didn't say you misspelt "short-lived". I said you misspelt "short". In your first paragraph you had the word "shot" in brackets after the word "Summary". It should have been "short".
 

Gaya87

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I didn't say you misspelt "short-lived". I said you misspelt "short". In your first paragraph you had the word "shot" in brackets after the word "Summary". It should have been "short".

Noted with thanks, Teacher. I overlooked.
 

emsr2d2

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Noted with thanks, teacher. I overlooked that.

There is no need to write a new post to say "Thank you". Simply click on the "Thank" button in the bottom left-hand corner of any post you find helpful. It saves time for everyone.
In addition, please don't refer to users here as "Teacher". We just use usernames. Just call me emsr2d2.
 

Gaya87

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That's good to know, Gaya87. Did you notice that I asked you a question in a earlier post (about the number of wives the prince had)? People who respond to threads frequently ask follow-up questions so it's a good idea to keep an eye on your own threads and answer any questions as soon as you can. You can check on threads you have posted (either asking a question or posting a response) by clicking on "Quick Links" at the top and then choosing "Subscribed Threads" from the dropdown list. If a post appears in bold, it means there is a new post in that thread so it's a good idea to click on it and read the new post(s).

Thanks for this. I always find difficult to read my threads sometimes since unfamiliar with the tool bars. As of now, I will definitely follow the steps to read my new post. Once again thanks, emsr2ds.
 

Gaya87

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You need a space before an opening bracket.
You misspelt "short".
How many wives did he have? If only one, then she is "the wife", not "a wife".
"Their affection has been brought up ..." is not natural. I would use something like "Their affection grew ...".

He is having two wives.
 

emsr2d2

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Thanks for this. I always find it difficult to [STRIKE]read[/STRIKE] find my threads [STRIKE]sometimes[/STRIKE] since I am unfamiliar with the tool bars. [STRIKE]As of now,[/STRIKE] From now on, I will definitely follow [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] those steps to read my [STRIKE]new[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]post[/STRIKE] threads. Once again thanks, emsr2d2.

He [STRIKE]is having[/STRIKE] had two wives.


See my amendments above.

In your second sentence, you used both "sometimes" and "always". It can't be both. Always write in full sentences.

Make sure you spell usernames correctly.

He had two wives. He existed in the past and is dead so the simple past is appropriate. "He is having" is the present continuous. Your sentence doesn't refer to the present so the present continuous is inappropriate.
 

tedmc

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I find Gaya's English used in communicating with other forummers quite different from that used in his synopses of movies. I wonder if he wrote the synopses himself.
 
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