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  1. #1
    vodkatini Guest

    Default rewrite a sentence

    Someone gave me a sentence :

    The only difference actually lies in Ms Yu's inability to communicate
    with any of her foreign customers in English,unlike her teenage
    colleagues,who can.

    I changed it to :

    Unlike her collaegues in their teens, Ms Yu cannot communicate with her foreign customers in English. That is the difference.

    Is it correct ???? Is the second one better than the first one ????

    Many thanks :)

  2. #2
    Tdol is online now Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    How about:

    The difference is that, unlike her colleagues in their teens, Ms Yu cannot communicate with her foreign customers in English.

    You might consider using 'younger' instead of 'in their teens'.

  3. #3
    vodkatini Guest

    Default

    Thanks a lot for your suggestions. I think they are better. Thanks again. :)

  4. #4
    RonBee's Avatar
    RonBee is offline Moderator
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    Teenage colleagues is more likely to be appropriate if the person herself (or himself) is a teenager.

    [Edited for spelling.]

  5. #5
    vodkatini Guest

    Default

    I get it. Many thanks. :)

  6. #6
    Tdol is online now Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Quote Originally Posted by RonBee
    Teenage colleagues is more likely to be appropriate it the person herself (or himself) is a teenager.
    Good point, though I got the feeling that she was not.

  7. #7
    vodkatini Guest

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    why did you get such feeling ???? :)

  8. #8
    Tdol is online now Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    The use of 'teenage' suggested that she is older, or that there are other colleagues who are older. It suggested to me that the younger people are the ones able to speak English.

  9. #9
    vodkatini Guest

    Default

    thanks :)

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