Application for a master's scholarship/Thanks a lot for your help by correcting me

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kitopherS

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Dear Selection Committee of the University XXXX,
With this letter,I,full name,citizen from country would like to submit my application for obtaining the XXXinternational Master's scholarship the XXXX-XXXX academic year.

I have graduated a Bachelor of Science in geology from the University of XXXX in (country). I have been interested in geology since I realized the exceptional mineral resources my (country), recognized as geological scandal, is endowed with and figure out how I can help my country overcome challenges related to mineral resources. I plan working in different areas such as lecturing in universities as experts in Geology are rare in my country, delivering expertise services to Country’s officials as well as to international organizations implemented in country aiming at providing transparency and accountability in mining activities to fill the gap that often exists between huge profit generated by Mining activities and impoverished local communities. Ideally, I hope to help my country by generating profit in mining sector which is the main driver of the economy of (Country).
I grew up in a poor family in the conflict-stricken eastern part of (Country), what motivates me to help to improve the situation. My commitment to study helped me to obtain sponsors to cover my scholarly fees until my graduation.
My education goals are to complete a Master of Science in Geology (especially in topics related to economic geology) and then to continue toward a Ph.D.To improve my knowledge and get a practical experience, I spent two years at XXmines Sarl(an Exploration mining Company) as a junior geologist where I was in charge of supervising the drilling and doing detail logging as well. This professional experience has been very rewarding and educational to me as I learned to deal with several challenges and have deepened my knowledge on the discipline that I've studied. Meanwhile, I was looking for an opportunity to further my studies in topics related to mineral resources and try to re-focus my career in academic aspect. Hence, I have applied for the XX fellowship program to undertake a research project in modelling of mineral deposits for XXXmonths (from October 2015 to March 2016) at XXX University of Science and Technology (in European country). Such a unique opportunity, in a top-ranked (European country) university in mining research, greatly improves my geological knowledge and understanding and will play a valuable role in my country. For this purpose, to be granted the university name scholarship will strongly help me achieve my dream.
In essence, the excellent education and therefore knowledge I will receive at the university name will then be applied to my home country in the academic and mining sectors which are by far the essential pillars.
Thank you so much for considering me as a recipient for the university name International Master’s scholarship for the 20XX-20XX academic year.

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Sincerely yours,
 

teechar

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Hence, I have applied for the XX fellowship program to undertake a research project in modelling of mineral deposits for XXXmonths (from October 2015 to March 2016) at XXX University of Science and Technology (in European country).
Were you accepted; are you in that program now?
 
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