Well I never did - the modern version?

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englishhobby

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Aren't there any expressions meaning "It can' be so!"/"You are kidding!/I can't believe you!?
 

kilroy65

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You could simply say: "Oh, really!" with the appropriate intonation.
 

Tarheel

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The expression is:

Are you kidding?

Also:

You've got to be kidding.

OR

You must be kidding.

Also:

You've got to be joking.

OR

You must be joking.

From the movie "Airplane":

Copilot: Surely you must be joking.
Pilot: No, I'm not joking. And don't call me Shirley.
 

Oll Korrect

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"No way!" and "Yeah, right" are two common, rather slang American versions. For me, the first could express surprise or disbelief, while "yeah, right" only shows disbelief.
 

emsr2d2

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On a less polite note, in BrE we use "Stuff me!", "Bugger me!" and "F*ck me!"

Please note that the second contains a potentially offensive word which I would normally indicate with an asterisk instead of the "u". However, many people on this site might not be familiar with the word and would have had no idea which vowel fitted in the space, that's why I have written it in full just this once.
 

englishhobby

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I need it, as I often do, to make up a dialogue for my students that would sound more or less natural. :) So, I'm afraid those idioms you mentioned won't do... How do you like this one:

- Well, how did you enjoy your walk yesterday?
- Enjoy our walk? Are you kidding? Didn’t you hear about yesterday’s torrential rain in the country? We were caught in the rain and it soaked us to the skin.
- No way!* And the weather was so nice in the morning when you left... And the weather report was so promising...
- Yes, it was. But it suddenly changed for the worse in the afternoon. In the end, when we eventually got home, we looked like a pair of drowned rats.
- Bad luck, it wasn’t your day.

* - perhaps, I should use 'Oh, really!' instead?

;-):?:
 
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Tarheel

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The person would surely have known about the weather on the previous day.
 

Tarheel

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As somebody said, "No way" expresses disbelief.

Jasmine: Bob totally likes you.
Sally: No way!
Jasmine: Way! Haven't you seen the way he looks when he thinks you don't know he's looking?
Sally: Seriously?
Jasmine: Seriously. Bob totally likes you.
 

Tdol

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F*ck me! might be a more modern, and less polite, way of expressing such surprise.
 

TheParser

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***** NOT A TEACHER *****


TheParser: Excuse me. I have been waiting for 15 minutes while you have been talking to your friend on the phone. Could you please stop talking and help me?

The sales associate [sales person]: I will help you when I want to. If you don't like it, you can go to another store. Is that understood, dude?

TheParser: Oh my!



***** NOTES *****

1. George Takei, the actor who was in the original "Star Trek" TV series (1966 - 1969), is famous for saying "Oh my!"

2. Some people suggest that it is NOT a good idea for younger males in the United States to use that expression. Some people do not consider it to be masculine-sounding enough.
 

emsr2d2

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It's just not very modern. I associate "Oh my!" with Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and George Takei's character in Star Trek, so it was used by both sexes.

There's no reason for younger males in the USA or anywhere else to have to sound "masculine"!
 

MikeNewYork

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Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!
 

Raymott

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Then there's the classic Marx Brothers line:

Margaret Dumont: "Well I never!"
Groucho Marx: "Oh, you must have!"
 
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