[Grammar] Formal e-mail to a college, is it correct?

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rufuzjay

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I need to write an e-mail to a college consellor asking the eligibility for bba, she already sent the application form and prospectus etc. I wrote this but I don't know if I should correct some things. I'd really appreciate any help with this. This is the e-mail:

Dear madam,

I have recently got your email. This is
to request more information about eligibility for bba course at ____ college. I got only 47% in the recent examination am i eligible for bba in your college. I am extremely interested doing this course at your college.


Thank you in advance for your attention to my request. I look forward to receiving your response.

yours sincerely,

rufuz jay
 
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konungursvia

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Formal English requires capital letters at the beginnings of new sentences, and new lines.
 

emsr2d2

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Written English requires a capital letter at the start of every new sentence, formal or otherwise. The word "I" must always be capitalised.
 

Tarheel

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Use punctuation. For example, say:

Am I eligible for BBA at your college?
 

Tarheel

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Say:

I am extremely interested in taking this course at your college.

(BBA = bachelor's in business administration)
 

Charlie Bernstein

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I need to write an e-mail to a college consellor asking about eligibility for a BBA. She has already sent the application form and prospectus. I wrote this, but I don't know if I should correct some things. I'd really appreciate any help with this. This is the e-mail:

Dear Ms. [her last name],

I recently got your email. This is to request more information about eligibility for the BBA course at ____ College. I got only 47% in the recent examination. Am I still eligible for a BBA at your college? I am extremely interested in taking the course.

Thank you. I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours sincerely,
[space]
Rufuz Jay

You say "the recent examination." Will she know what exam you're talking about?

Never say "Thank you in advance." It's obviously in advance. How could it not be?

Yes, you should correct some things.
 

DeBtuB

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Hellow I really need help and maybe someone here can help me and check my cover letter ;) please

I hold an MSc degree in Pharmacy, specializing in toxycology and pharmacology from the one of the best univesities in ........ I would like to apply for the PhD program at your University. After completing this PhD program, I plan to continue my research at your respected instituion.
My research started when I was in year three of my university degree. I took part in a study program in the department of toxicology. My project was about the relevance of..... I presented this project in international conferences like.... I also I successfully completed my internship at .... . My projects was about skin regulaion and CRA receptos. This internship gave me a golden opportunity to put my first footsteps into histology


Right now, I am working in one of the best laboratories in ..... specializing in research on the endothelium. At the moment, I am doing research on small vessels using miografu vascular and other studies using Electron Paramagnetic resonance
I believe that I have not only the necessary experience , but also the personal qualities and the responsible attitude needed to accomplish my work. I am very ambitious and hard-working pharmacists who tries in a deligent manner to learn new skills to broaden my horizons and expand my prospects.

I have applied for a summer German language intensive course organized..., so hopefully I will be sufficiently prepared to work at your
department.

I am committed to giving my best to any work situation. I have a holistic approach to the tasks that I undertake. I strongly feel that this would add value to my enrolling in a if I should be so lucky to be accepted at your institution.


It would be my absolute pleasure to work at your department, and I believe I have the potential to be a valuable member of your reaserch team. I look forward to discussing my application with you.

Finally we would like to assure you that I will do our best and strive for excellence if accepted to the PhD progrma at your respected instituon, as it would be such a tremendous honor.
 
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